{The Blogs I Never Posted} Video Games & The Experiment

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I am not exactly sure what I intended to write when I saved this picture into my drafts blog 3+ years ago. I think it was something about how when the kids lost their electronics "privileges", they would often prefer to sit idle watching their brother play.

Those were the days of the Nintendo DS.
Then came the Nintendo DS-XL.
Then the Nintendo 3DS.
Then the generation of the present - the Nintendo 3DS-XL.

Between that, and all of the Skylanders / Skylanders Giants / Skylanders Swap Force non-sense, I decided that I was never going to introduce the little guys to Video Games.

They would be my experiment, I declared to anyone that would listen.

To see if they would grow up to be Rocket Scientists because they never wasted their time on the ever changing video console landscape.

And then Santa went and brought the kids an X-Box One for Christmas, 2013. 

This wouldn't be a problem except that the Xbox One is so technologically advanced that you just talk to it to turn it on.

"Xbox Turn On" you say, and it responds.

Herein lies the problem.

Blake Talks.

And as a result, he has picked up most of the phrases used to direct the Xbox from his older brothers (including XBOX TURN OFF! - which he saves for when they make him mad).

I say most of because the console requires you to be very exact with the phrasing or it won't respond.

While Blake only knows a couple of the commands, he's hard headed enough to keep talking to the XBox until it responds (meaning until he happens to say the right words in the right order).

Xbox Turn On! (this one is an actual command, and always works for him- but then it gets a little trickier)

XBox Should you let me play Lego?

XBox Should you?

Xbox Turn to Lego!!?

Xbox Get to Legos!!?

Xbox SHOULD YOU!!?

XBox Play Legos!

XBox Go Home! (this is another actual command)

...And on and on and on....until something he says finally starts the game. The whole thing is very entertaining to watch. All that to say - so much for THAT no-video-game-experiment! 

Sidenote: We set the system up in our bedroom because of all of the other things it offers (RedBox, Netflix, VUDU, Amazon, etc). But I have to say, the whole thing sort of freaks me out a bit - like I'm being watched. Jeff and Hayden are set up as user profiles - and the "amazing technology" now recognizes them when they walk into the room --- even if we are just watching TV. A little thing will pop on the TV and say Hi Jeff!

Things that make you go Hmmm. 

Adventures in Grocery Shopping

If you are looking for a blog full of how to's and wonderful recipes, this is probably not the one for you....but if you are looking for a blog that makes you feel better about yourself for doing routine tasks that should be easy -  you're in the right spot.

Last weekend was an extended one because the kids were out of school for Martin Luther King Day.

Side note - apparently the kids these days refer to it as MILK weekend. (I'm proud to say that it only took me thirty seconds to figure out what that meant). 

Anyway, the long weekend without any real plans was topped off by the fact that Jeff has officially entered his "busy time schedule" for the new deal he is working on.

Which meant he worked all weekend long.

On weekends and holidays, my kids tend to be homebodies - moaning and groaning about doing much of anything including fun stuff like going to the park or on a bike ride.

So, I did what any adventurous mom would do.

I loaded them all up and headed to the grocery store. And in a bold attempt at bribery, I promised the kids that they could each buy a new toy.

(With their own money).

We needed only the basics to survive the weekend so we could make a proper sandwich out of something other than carb-balance tortillas and cream cheese.

Three Hundred and Thirty Six Dollars later, I think I think it's safe to say that I am officially the world's worst grocery shopper.

Especially when I am hungry and trying to keep four kids happy.

After I meandered the grocery aisles letting the kids talk me into tons of stuff we didn't need, I found myself standing in the toy aisle examining every. last. Lego. box. that Walmart had in inventory.

The boys were deciding which ones they could afford - and also had the time to tackle over the weekend.

Hayden decided on one that was above a $9.99 sign, but since was an entire Lego city - and had over 40,000 pieces we both knew it was just in the wrong spot. Since Walmart has removed all of those price checker thingies (I know because we walked the entire store looking for one) we just decided to wing it.

That bad decision is how Hayden ended up with his first $70 Lego set and an outstanding $5 loan from Davis.

Finally - FINALLY - we were finished grocery shopping and toy shopping and made our way to the check out line.

And that's when for some reason....A REASON TOTALLY UNEXPLAINABLE....I decided to go through the self-checkout line.

With THREE HUNDRED AND THIRTY SIX DOLLARS worth of groceries and four kids and NO ROOM to put any of the bagged groceries.

Let's just say that the poor soul that has the brutal task of managing the 4 "self-checkout" lanes had to come over to my area no less than 17 times to clear an error. 

About 1/3 of the way through ringing out my own groceries...I think it was one of the times I was waiting for the cashier to come over and examine the "unknown item in the bagging area", I realized what a HUGE mistake the self-checkout line was.

I stopped. I took a deep breath. And I seriously considered voiding my transaction and starting over in a line with a cashier. At that point, it didn't even matter if the cashier took out his teeth. But then I thought better of it and kept on plugging away in an effort to accelerate The Self Check-out Fiasco.

Meanwhile, Davis was trying to help me by scanning items as well....and then putting them back in the basket. Not in a bag. (That probably accounts for thirty dollars or so of my over budget).

Behind me, Hayden was tending to Blake and Nathan.

The once-empty self check-out line quickly began to fill up with customers. Customers who were all looking at Me and My Hoodlums. I felt eyes peering at me from every direction.

At one point, Blake started to squeal and I turned around to see Hayden holding Blake's arms down.

So I stopped scanning (don't worry - Davis  scanned a few more items) and reprimanded Hayden for restraining Blake and making him squeal.

Then I got back to scanning.

That's when I heard "excuse me ma'am....excuse me ma'am....excuse me ma'am" from behind me.

I turned around right in time to see someone we'll call Mr. Mediator Man (another Walmart guest) raising his eyebrows and pointing squarely at Blake, who was whacking Nathan with a loaf of bread that very instant.

The man didn't say anything else. But his raised eyebrows said it all.

He expected me to apologize to Hayden and reprimand Blake before I rang out one more item.

So I stopped scanning again (don't worry - Davis scanned a few more items). I apologized to Hayden and said something in a very stern voice to Blake...if only to appease the long line of self-checkout customers that had suddenly turned into baby-sitters.

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The moral of the story:
Don't self checkout with more than 3 items.
Don't bribe your kids with toys.
Don't buy something if you don't know the price of it.
Don't go to the grocery store hungry.
Don't go to the grocery store with four kids.
Just don't go to the grocery store.

***Just so no one feels sorry for my boys, 

we also went to the park, went to a play area, 

had three play dates and a sleep-over. 

An Attempt at a Metaphor

Davis: Wow Nathan! You walked like TEN MILES for an ANT. 

Hayden: Davis, that makes no sense at all. 

Davis: Yes it does. If Nathan were an ant, he would have walked what felt like ten miles

Hayden: But he's NOT an ant Davis! He's a BOY! 

Leg Warmers On Boys

My Kids Facebook Stream

If My Kids Were On Facebook

Have you guys seen this or this? I can't take credit for the idea, but as soon as I saw it I knew I had to incorporate it into my blog because my kiddos have a lot to say.

This will be a new segment I am introducing on my blog that will allow me to poke fun at the nuances on my facebook stream AND let you all in on the craziness going on around the Lyle house.

Obviously, they are not going to be allowed to use Facebook until they turn 30 and can also prove they know the difference between their, there and they're...but I am sure this is exactly what their feed would look like.

MORE TO COME!

{Favorite Picture Of All Time}

Oh wow. What a difficult blog topic. Especially since I have one particular friend looking over my shoulder just waiting for me to publish this post so she can have more proof that I have a favorite child. :)

So to prevent that scenario from happening, I'm going to stick with the most recent (read: only) professional picture of all four boys. I think it will forever be one of my favorites.

These were taken by the awesome, sweet, Laura Kent - and I am sort of freaking out right now because I can't find the disk they were on - which is why you are left with this blurry picture from Facebook.

Wish me luck on finding the original. It's probably in some Star Wars DVD case.

{Black and White}

Alive and Well, But Busy

You know that whole blog a day thing? Well, we had a good run while it lasted, right?

Obviously, that didn’t work out.

At first I skipped a couple of days and my head was spinning...in a constant state of guilt.

Then I skipped a few more and I found myself writing catch up blogs in my head…which completely stressed me out more.

It was sort of like that time when I was a six year old little girl BAWLING hysterically to my mom because I couldn't stop saying curse words IN MY HEAD.

Do you have any idea how stressful it is to repeat bad words in your head that your bad-influence-friend says? Words like 'sucks' and 'stupid'. Very stressful!

Anyway, another week or so of Not Blogging went by and suddenly I was all, “Blog? What blog?”

Fast forward two months and that’s where we are today. Since we last spoke, this particular boy has gotten HUGE!

There is definitely a lot happening these days, but not a lot of free time to sit down and soak it all in.

So here are the top thirty nine things we (one or all of us) have been up to over the last couple of months. I will follow up with individual blog posts in more detail, but this should get you up to speed for the most part. I’m sure it goes without saying at this point…don’t hold your breath for those posts.

1. Stayed at home for FOUR STRAIGHT days due to snow and ice.

2. Became thankful that I don’t live north of the Red River since there would probably be a lot more weather days.

3. And that I have a full time job.

4. Started a diet.

5. Taught the kids how to say “Duh! Winning!”…a parenting moment we will no doubt look back on with pride.

6. Bragged about a baby who sleeps through the night (when he feels like it).

7. Stopped bragging about a baby who sleeps through the night after realizing I was jinxing myself.

8. Started official Karate Tae Kwon Do classes. I’m still not sure of the difference, but I know that I get corrected every time I say Karate. These lessons cost more than the previous ones which included a $1 Redbox rental of the new Karate Kid movie with Jayden Smith.

9. Attended the third annual Girl Scout Cookie Taste Test hosted by Mimi and GrandDad. If you have a Girl Scout in your family, grab a pen and write this name down…Mike Stadler. You won’t regret it.

10. Ended a diet.

11. Started Blake on baby food.

12. Wondered aloud how someone in my bloodline can HATE food so much.

13. Dressed Hayden up like a 100 year old for the 100th 104th day of school. Those snow days got in the way of a lot of good things. Including peace and quiet.

14. Bought tennis rackets. And matching sweatbands.

15. Played tennis.

16. Chased tennis balls.

17. Lost tennis balls.

18. Started a diet.

19. Became (what felt like) a single mom while Jeff worked 20 hour days.

20. Picked my favorite kid of the day to sleep in my bed during those long nights (they didn’t know the selection process).

21. Thanked God that on Jeff’s last busy night, he arrived home literally minutes before Angel ate a baby bunny and regurgitated it in her crate.

22. Realized that when I say “this is my busiest time at work”, it has a whole different meaning than when Jeff says it.

23. Fed the kids raw oysters for the first time.

24. Made a 3-D angler fish complete with a flashing light. Hey, first grade parents…WE’RE BACK IN THE GAME!

25. Spent way too much time scouring match.com (totally unrelated to the Jeff working late thing).

26. Convinced Davis that he should create a TV show called Kid vs. Food (similar to Man vs. Food) after he ate over a dozen wings.

27. Cheered the Cow-Q-Lated BBQ team on (Matt and Jeff) in their second competition.

28. Ended a diet.

29. Took all three boys to their annual well check appointment.

30. Realized that we were 4 days early for said doctor’s appointment.

31. Waited 4 days and revisited the doctor with all three boys in tow.

32. Determined that while efficient, a triple doctor’s appointment that involves shots for two out of three kids was not practical.

33. Tricked the kids into a photo shoot at the house.

34. Hosted a Belated New Year’s Eve and Minute to Win It Party.

35. Made homemade blueberry muffins after Davis sung the days of the week song and realized that “saying the word Monday reminds him of blueberry muffins.”

36. Convinced Davis that even though we know how to make blueberry muffins (with the help of Betty Crocker), it doesn’t mean we should sell them to our friends and cousins.

37. Lost a tooth. Then literally lost the tooth again - - somewhere in the carpet. I would like to apologize in advance if you are ever at our house and happen to step on a tooth.

Note Jeff in the background searching for the tooth 

38. Advised Hayden to write a note to the tooth fairy explaining his predicament.

39. Aged another year and was gifted with an adorable sock monkey.

One Hundred Twenty Six: Whoop!

Since the Aggies were having such a good season, Mimi decided to get each of the boys an Aggie jersey.

Thankfully, our late-in-the-season added support didn't jinx them like it did the Cowboys back in January.

(You can thank me later Mike Sherman!) (Sorry Wade!)

And now the Aggies are Cotton Bowl bound. Which means I am no longer a 2 percenter...more along the lines of a 5 percenter.

Don't get me wrong, I am excited about watching my alma mater play in the Cotton Bowl, but I'm slightly more excited about another opportunity to get a picture of the whole family in their Aggie jerseys. That was the plan on Thanksgiving, the day of the big Aggie/Longhorn game...but I never managed to get everyone together long enough to pose. Instead, the day was filled with deviled eggs, family chats, Black Friday ads, pumpkin pie, and a fair share of calorie loaded casseroles.

One Hundred Nine: Lessons

Directed toward Hayden:
What is the first thing you are going to teach your baby brother?
Science. Like science experiments. Like how to shrink a feather.

Directed toward Davis:
What is the first thing you are going to teach your baby brother?
That when a dog goes (panting noises), it means he is tired.
Then I am going to teach him about site words. Did you know I have a site word in my name.
IS!
Seriously, who needs kindergarten when lessons like this will be readily available from your big brothers?