Kids Say...

"Wow Dad, that was a good spanking." - Blake appreciating the good spanking technique given to his little brother. 11/2014

"My poop melted." - Blake describing his diarrhea symptoms. 11/2014

"My poop smells like gummy bears." Nathan vocalizing that his &#*% doesn't stink 10/2014.

"With great power comes great responsibility." - Blake 10/2014

"I tooted one time. Two times. TWENTY SIX times." -Blake 10/2014

"Mom! Did you know we have SIX PEOPLE in our family." -Blake sounding surprised by our big family.

"Dad? What did they used to call shoelaces when you were a kid?" -Hayden 9/2014, realizing that some thing never change.

"Thank you for cleaning up all of the messes that Nathan makes." - Blake thanking the maids and blaming his brother all in one breath 9/2014.

"I want a virgin. I like virgins." - Hayden 8/2014 showing his appreciation for non-alcoholic drinks.

"When I grow up I am going to go to a meeting. And then when I am done with the meeting, I am going to have coffee." - Blake 8/2014 on career aspirations.

"I JUST WANTED TO HAVE A PEACEFUL MORNING!!!" Davis screaming at the top of his lungs 8/2014.

"Pooping is for suckers!" - Blake, explaining to his little brother that you can't just have a sucker for anything 8/2014.

"This car is so lame." - Blake 8/2014.

"I want to use the portal potty." - Blake 8/2014.

"Mom, you should wear a shirt that says 'we're not fashion stars, we just wear any color'" - Davis' explanation for why he doesn't match and why I shouldn't worry about it 8/2014.

"I love girls. I love goggles. I love girls in goggles." - Blake admiring his view at swimming lessons 7/2014.

"I love you so I will let you borrow your phone." -Blake letting me borrow my own phone 7/2014.

"No offense mom, but your fake laugh sounds like...well...a fake laugh." - Davis telling it like it is 6/2014.

"I'm looking for the letters to play PROSPECTOR on the board because I don't have any of those letters." -Hayden, playing scrabble, just before I realized it was going to be a loooooong game. 1/2012

"Jinx! Double Jinx! Triple Jinx! Fourple Jinx!" Hayden and Davis in unison, ongoing 2014.

"I learned how to budget from playing the Smurfs game on my iTouch." said 
the kid who spent ninety nine REAL dollars on smurfberries using an app, Davis 1/2014.

"Why do Legos cost so much when WE are the ones that make the toy?" Hayden, 1/2014

"Mom can you spank my brother?" - Blake 1/2014

"Are the kids at school?" -Blake 1/2014

"Hello big boys!" - Nathan greeting his older brothers 1/2014

"Do three year olds toot?" Blake, asking a valid question as he celebrated his third birthday. 11/2013

"Mom, should I be an engine one day?" - Blake 1/2014 after an inspiring episode of Thomas and Friends.

"That was an AMAZING TOOT!" - Blake at the Thanksgiving dinner table 11/2013

"Davis was using unsportsmanlike conduct when we were playing mercy on the bus today." -Hayden, 11/2013

"Dad, can I have a spanking for fun, like a football player?"- Blake, 11/2103

"Don't throw me under the bus DA-BIS" - Blake repeating a common phrase in our house 10/2013

"Ahh man. We are late for being early. " Hayden, upset that we didn't arrive to football practice 30 minutes early 10/2013

"When I grow up, I want to be the second string quarter back." - Hayden, shooting for the stars 10/2013

"Do football players sneeze?" - Blake, firming up his football player character 10/2013

"Oh diaper! Where are you?" - Blake 8/2013

"Remember that time when mom got arrested for no reason when I was three?" Hayden recalling what I can only assume was a dream 8/2013

"Our new salad bar at school is SO fancy. It has dressings from all over the world! Like one of them is Itallian!" -Davis, impressed with the new offerings at the school cafeteria 10/2013

"A bubbles a bubble no matter the size" - Hayden, during a bubble blowing training seminar 6/2013

"Mom, should I be a trash man when I grow up?" Blake 1/2014 still considering his career
aspirations.

"Mom, should I be a princess when I grow up?" Blake 1/2014, after seeing Gru on Despicable
Me dress up like a princess.
“Mom, can we do this Easter thing that Hungary people do. Not hungry people like they want to eat , hungry people. But like Hungary people. You go to your girlfriends house – or to your wife’s house and then you dump water on them and then you put perfume on them.” – Davis 11/2012 on starting a new family tradition.

“Do you remember in the old days when I was three?” – Hayden 10/2012, reminiscing.

“Mitt Romney said he will lower the cost of video games because he said he would lower the taxes on everything so that’s why I’m voting for Mitt Romney.” – Hayden 9/2012 on who he is endorsing for the presidential election.

“Mom – You are going to have so much time to do stuff now that you don’t have a real job. So much time I can’t even describe it. So much time to clean and stuff.” – Davis 9/2012 on how I should allot my extra 40 hours a week.

“Mom – since you don’t have a job anymore, will you do my mystery bag project while I’m at school.” – Hayden 9/2012, also allocating my priority list.

“You are the Best Mom in the whole…wide…county.” – Hayden 7/2012

“I don’t know what to play. I am just so into talking right now.” – Davis 7/2012

“Kindergarten was so lame! We didn’t even do times…Like 3 times 10.” – Davis 7/2012

“Mom, Can you take a picture of me sliding into first base and then we can make a poster out of it on posterdog.com” – Davis 5/2012, still a walking advertisement

“Spicy on my tongue…Mmmmm the sweet smell of success” – Ryan 5/2012 after making home made salsa

“Our house is in danger. There’s a poisonous monarch butterfly stalking it.” – Hayden 4/2012

“What’s for dinner, chicken winner?” – Davis 1/2012

“Dad, what did cars look like when you were alive?” Hayden 1/2012

“You are nicer than the average mom.” – Hayden 1/2012

“It smells like toots, but it tastes SO good. ” – Davis 12/2011 on eggnog.

“Can you download the new fruit ninja. It’s off the hook!” – Hayden 11/2011

“Pregnant people don’t have an innie or an outie, they have a both-ie.” Davis 10/2011, regarding different types of belly buttons.

“I think he moved to an urban area.” – Hayden 9/2011, regarding one of his friends that moved away

“Yuck! There’s NO WAY I’m eating fried Oprah tonight.” -Hayden 8/2011

“Mom, are we allowed to say especially?” – Davis 8/2011 trying to figure out which words are off limits.

“My teacher said I am the talking-est kid in the class.” – Davis 7/2011

“Someday can Hayden and I have a midnight snack?” – Davis 7/2011

“Mom, I think you should tell us to stop watching Nick at Night because it is inappropriate.” – Hayden 5/2011 enforcing his own rules.

“I’m allergic to buttons.” – Davis, 5/2011 on why he shouldn’t be forced to get dressed up Easter Sunday.

“Chill babe! Chill!” – Davis, 5/2011 (obviously picked up from his dad)

“Can I borrow your phone, My Lady?” – Davis, 5/2011 (no idea where he picked this one up)

“We don’t like rats, that’s why we have a vege-terrier.” – Davis 3/2011 on why we have a terrier known for killing rodents.

“I have a thought for your penny.” – Davis 3/2011

“Mom, what’s your iTunes password…I promise I won’t remember it.” – Hayden, 3/2011

“It’s a Gimmick Davis!” -Hayden, 2/2011, picking up something he heard his dad say after an infomercial.

“We made a deal. If Davis really appreciates me today, he can sleep in my bedroom tonight.” – Hayden, 2/2011

“Yesterday was Groundhog Day?!? Oh No! We didn’t celebrate.” – Hayden 2/2011

“He JUST said it! TWICE!” – Davis, 2/2011, referring to the ‘Never Say Never’ song by Justin Bieber.

“When Blake turns three, can we start calling tennis shoes tennies again like we did when I was three?” – Hayden 1/2011

“I think Blake is going to be an archeologist when he is older…because he loves to look at stuff.” – Hayden 1/2011

“No really. I am seriously!” -Davis 1/2011 ongoing.

“She has hair that covers her ears and an oval face.” – Davis, 12/2010, describing his friend Paige from school to me.

“Davis…dude…just because you heard it on Garfield doesn’t mean you should repeat it. Dogs do have brains.” – Hayden, 12/2010

“If Blake fights me when he grows up I will take it easy on him.” – Davis, 12/2010

“The only thing I don’t like about meatloaf is the meat.” – Hayden 11/2010

“Like Billy always said, ‘It ain’t clean unless it’s OXY CLEAN.” – Davis 11/2010 (completely out of the blue), proving once again that he watches entirely too much TV.

“Ugh! Davis! You were talking too loud. I couldn’t hear if batteries were included.” – Hayden 10/2010, visibly upset that his brother was talking too loud through the end of a toy commercial.

“Look at the bright side. There is a bear behind you.” – Davis 10/2010

“Oh No! We’re Doomed.” -Davis 9/2010

“We are soooo going to be dead meat when Dad sees this.” -Davis 9/2010, referring to the silly string he had squirted all over the driveway.

“Dad, you’re the best Dad…it’s like you’re my servant.” – Hayden 9/2010

“Your husband is really good at Angry Birds.” -Hayden 8/2010 to me, on Jeff’s Angry Birds game playing skills.

“Take That! Or shall I say TAKE THIS!” – Hayden 8/2010 talking to his Nintendo DS.

“I’ve been DYING for a new flusher.” – Davis’ response 8/2010 after seeing that Jeff installed a new handle on our toilet.

“Let me try something. I don’t know if it will work, but I will GUARANTEE that it MIGHT work.” – Hayden 8/2010 trying a new trick out.

“Hayden, I love it when you cheat.” – Davis, 7/2010, showing his gratitude of having an older brother in summer camp who has learned how to cheat on the Nintendo DS. Just one of the many benefits of being a little brother.

“Hey, I have an idea. You guys should make a puppet show ABOUT ME!” – Davis, 7/2010

“Dad, will you coffee me and be a coffee cat.” -Davis, 7/2010

“I am the KING of burping and my mouth is my crown.” – Davis ongoing 4/2010, making his parents oh-so-proud.

“I say goodbye in my head.” – Hayden 2/2010 after being questioned why he doesn’t respond to our goodbyes when dropped off at school.

“O.M.G! Look at that truck over there” – Hayden 5/2010 after watching one too many episodes of iCarly.

“Chop Chop Lollipop!” – Davis 5/2010

“Gotta Go Buffalo!” – Davis 5/2010

“Mom, will you be C3PO and smell RyRy’s bottom.” -Peyton 4/2010 suggesting that his brother had a ripe diaper.

“Moooommm, Hayden just punched me on the toe.” – Davis 3/2010 tattle-telling.

“Mom, you know on Fox News, they never toot. They don’t toot on Fox News or Bill O’Reilly.” – Peyton 3/2010

“Didn’t Santa hear me? I said a REAL magic wand.” -Hayden 1/2010 vocalizing his disappointment in his not so magic wand.

“Awesome! How did that jet make those stretch marks in the sky?” – Davis 1/2010, commenting on a jet contrail.

“I’ve got it! How about whoever is four gets to play with that.” – Davis 1/2010, coming up with a solution to the age old problem of sharing.

“Maybe the Not Loose Tooth Fairy will come.” – Hayden 1/2010 hoping and wishing that a second tooth fairy exists after I inform him that the tooth fairy will not be visiting us just because he is growing his six year molars.

“When I grow up, I want to be a hot dog maker.” – Hayden 12/2009 exclaiming his career aspirations as he eats his hot dog.

“I THOUGHT WE HAD A DEAL HAYDEN!” – Davis, 12/2009, upset when the deal fell through.

“On stay at home days, I don’t like to wear clothes.” – Davis 12/2009

“Why don’t you guys put me in yoga?” – Hayden’s suggestion 12/2009 after overhearing me tell Jeff
that we should put him in gymnastics.

“Mom, you are a big, pretty, princess.” – Davis 12/2009 complimenting me and simultaneously motivating me to diet.

“We are not twins because I am four and Hayden is three and three…SIX…so we are not twins.” – Davis 11/2009 stating the obvious in a round about way.

“Peyton and Ryan are twins, but they say they’re not.” – Hayden 11/2009 commenting on the resemblance between his cousins Peyton and Ryan.

“Duh! She’s a mammal, so she will keep herself warm.” -Hayden 10/2009 arguing with me over why we should put the dog outside after I said it was too cold

“I will stop when you stop saying stop.” – Davis 10/2009 antagonizing his brother by wrestling

“I love Hayden. And I love Mom. And I love Dad. And I love myself.” – Davis 10/2009, not even attempting to hide his narcissism

“I really do love your squishy muscles Mom.” – Hayden 10/2009

“Can we put this popcicle the oven so it won’t be so cold?” – Davis 9/2009

“I love Taco Bell and Hayden and Dad and Mom.” – Davis 9/2008

“The sun is starting to sit down.”-Davis 8/2009 commenting on dusk.

“I love you so, so, so, so much…I love you this much (holding up his fingers the size of dime).”-Davis 8/2009 on how much he loves me.

“Oh, I thought you guys had died.”-Hayden 7/2009 casually mentioned upon our return from Mexico.

“OK. Who do you want to be Davis? My servant? Then I will be your master. Now let’s play.” – Hayden 7/2009, recapping something he may have overheard me say to Jeff (Only kidding! I have no idea where he heard it…)

“How many more days will you and mom live?” – Hayden 7/2009 most likely overestimating how many transformers he could buy with the inheritance Jeff and I could potentially leave behind

“I want to go back to Davis, Wahoma” – Davis 7/2009

“Only girls are invited to my birthday party.”- Davis 6/2009 already a ladies man.

“Sometimes when we want to save time at school, instead of saying junior mints, we call them kid mints.” -Hayden 6/2009

“Six likes to do tricks! HEY! THAT RHYMES!” – Davis three times a day beginning 5/2009

“I wish I was Davis because he likes bagels.” – Hayden 5/2009

“I might look tired, but I’m just exhaust.” -Hayden 5/2009

“I like you just the way you are mom. Except, will you cut your hair because it looks kind of weird.” -Hayden giving yet another kind compliment. 3/2009

“But I am HAY-VING!” Davis’ counter anytime he is told that he is not BEhaving. Ongoing, beginning 3/2009

“I like Dad because he is the strongest. And I like Mom because she is the loveliest. And I like Davis because he is the funniest. And me? I’m the monkey-ist.” Hayden, announcing the family strengths. 3/14/09

“We are going hunting for spinach and food and stuff.” -Hayden “hunting” with Davis. 2/7/09

“You can have all the fun you want to, but don’t break the windows, because that would be weird.” – Hayden explaining the rules of the house to his guest. 1/9/09

“Mom, Thank you for growing Davis in your tummy…when you had an enormous tummy.” – Hayden showing gratitiude for his brother, I guess. 11/20/08

“I will buy you some dimples like mine.” – Davis, after I told him how much I wish I had his cute, single dimple, 11/2008

“You talk to Dad. I am not a very good talker-inner.” – Hayden and I strategizing on how to talk Dad into going out to dinner, 11/2008

“Mom, you’re lovely…and Dad…he’s super cool. He rocks.” – Hayden 11/2008

“I was talking to my brain.” -Hayden ongoing when he is overheard talking back or saying something rude.

“Mom, you smell good. Davis, SMELL MOM. She smells GOOD.” – Hayden 9/2008, in a tone of complete SHOCK after smelling my fruity bubble gum.

“The Earth is like a planet, but it’s not. When you get bigger Davis, I am going to take you to outer space.” – Hayden, 9/2008

“Mom, Did you tell Davis that the birthday boy gets to do whatever they want?” – Hayden trying to convince Davis that he didn’t have to share since it was his birthday. 10/14/08

“Prolly God will take care of me” – Davis being a bit dramatic, but assuring me that everything will be okay after one of his frequent bloody noses. 9/2008

“We could just make some money. I would color it green and write on it with a black marker.” -Hayden already solving one of life’s most challenging issues, 7/2008

“When I’m not a Superhero, they call me Joe Darket. Well, sometimes they call me Darket Joe and sometimes they call me Joe Darket.” – Hayden, 5/2008

“I’ll be in charge of the tornado. I’ll put my arm on Davis’ chest so he doesn’t fly out the window.” – Hayden, 4/2008

“Mom, Please do me favor.” – Davis, 4/2008

“NO, I FOUR. YOU’RE TWO HEIDE!” Daivs, 4/2008, successfully pushing Hayden’s buttons

“Mom, I can hear the ocean in my hand.” –Hayden, 2/2008

“Look outside Mommy. I got you a surprise. See the beautiful sunset. I got you that sunset for Valentime’s Day.” –Hayden, 2/14/08

“My balance is back. Last day, I lost my balance, but I found it and put it back in my body.” – Hayden, 1/08

“You are a great chef mom.” –Hayden, 1/08 as I heated his cheesy burrito in the microwave. His future wife can thank me later for setting the bar low.

“You funty Hayden!” -Davis, 12/07 complementing Hayden

“Angel, when we were at the fair, we saw a dog that was better than you.” -Hayden 11/2007 discussing the dog show with our dog, Angel

“When I am older, I am going to play football, soccer, baseball, basketball, fireball, and bolleyball.” -Hayden, 10/2007

“Davis, do you want a spanking?” (me, threatening him for throwing his food). “Yes Mom, he does. He said yes.” – Hayden, 8/2007 being ever so helpful

“I can’t tell you or it won’t be a surprise” – Hayden, 8/2007 responding to Mimi’s question about what he wants for his birthday

“I have a great idea…we can trade Reed for Davis” – Hayden, 8/2007 already thinking like a stock broker

“I am so nervous about my homework” – Hayden, 6/2007. We have no idea what he was talking about, but he must have gotten a zero on whatever it was, because he wasn’t nervous enough to do anything. I have yet to see a progress report.

“When I turn 4, I will eat toast with you and watch commercials” – Hayden, 8/2007 daydreaming of the benefits that come with aging

“Dad, if you eat more, your head will touch the ceiling” – Hayden, 7/2007

“I don’t need to go potty, I was just dancing” – Hayden’s excuse after doing an interesting dance, 7/2007

“Can I buy Davis?” – Hayden’s friend Sarah, 4/2007 (AKA: The President of the Davis Fan Club)

“Quit mommy-ing me” – Hayden, 4/27/07 response when I asked him to quit kicking me as he was sitting in the grocery cart.

“Actually, her name is Lisa Michelle” – Hayden, 4/2007 correcting his friend after she called me
‘Hayden’s Mom’ for the 15th time

“I like your buttons.” – Hayden, 4/2007 during circle time when he was forced to give a compliment to the person sitting to his right.

“What is Davis doing, in the heck….there’s no telling” – Hayden, 4/5/2007

“If you don’t eat, you will die” – Hayden 3/2007, ironically reminding Davis of the consequences of not eating

“I knew you wouldn’t let me UP!” – Hayden’s response after he found out he could have more than one toy, 3/2007

“Don’t worry about me, worry about yourself” – Hayden responding to me after I asked him if he needed a coat, 3/2/07

“Sometimes I get candy, sometimes I don’t” – Hayden ackowledging that he would not be getting any Valentines Day Candy since he didn’t eat his dinner. 2/14/07

“I just forgot one fing today…I forgot my listening ears” – Hayden 1/29/07

“Okie Dokie Artichokie” – Hayden ongoing starting 1/5/07

“Come here little fella” -Hayden talking to a bug 12/28/06

“The flags are halfway down so that an old president can die” -Hayden 12/30/06

“Do you know if it is a girl or a boy yet“ – Megan Watson inquisitively asking about Davis, 7/8/06

“I have to eat fast, so my cereal doesn’t get foggy“ – Megan Watson 7/8/06

“We Don’t Eat Boogers, We Eat Burritos” – Hayden, 5/6/06

“Davis, you’re cute, just like me“-Hayden complimentng Davis 4/5/06

“I wanted to get you a stick, but I couldn’t find one, so I got you this rock” – Hayden offering a gift to his friend Callan, Easter 2006

“Turn the light back on Silly Willy“ – Hayden 3/24/06

“No, put that booger back in my nose“ -Hayden, 3/20/06

“You look pretty Mommy”-Hayden complimenting me as I was getting him out of the car, 3/7/2006

“Here MY ARE!!!”-Hayden announcing his arrival into a room, ongoing beginning 1/2006

“My word….Excuse Me” – Hayden excusing himself after burping, 1/2006

“Oh no, you lost a tooth” – Megan genuinely concerned, pointing out Jeff’s gap in his teeth after wrestling with him, 12/2005

“Eeeeeeeekkk” – Davis’ best pterodactyl impression to show excitement (who knew it started with a ‘p’?)

“Walk AWAY” – Hayden’s favorite phrase when eating, pooping, or just not in the mood for people (or the sun), ongoing beginning 10/2005.