Does This Count as a Baby Book?: An Attempt at a Metaphor

Monday, January 13, 2014

An Attempt at a Metaphor

Davis: Wow Nathan! You walked like TEN MILES for an ANT.

Hayden: Davis, that makes no sense at all.

Davis: Yes it does. If Nathan were an ant, he would have walked what felt like ten miles

Hayden: But he's NOT an ant Davis! He's a BOY!

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Kids Say The Darndest Things

"Wow Dad, that was a good spanking." - Blake appreciating the good spanking technique given to his little brother. 11/2014

"My poop melted." - Blake describing his diarrhea symptoms. 11/2014

"My poop smells like gummy bears." Nathan vocalizing that his &#*% doesn't stink 10/2014.

"With great power comes great responsibility." - Blake 10/2014

"I tooted one time. Two times. TWENTY SIX times." -Blake 10/2014

"Mom! Did you know we have SIX PEOPLE in our family." -Blake sounding surprised by our big family.

"Dad? What did they used to call shoelaces when you were a kid?" -Hayden 9/2014, realizing that some thing never change.

"Thank you for cleaning up all of the messes that Nathan makes." - Blake thanking the maids and blaming his brother all in one breath 9/2014.

"I want a virgin. I like virgins." - Hayden 8/2014 showing his appreciation for non-alcoholic drinks.

"When I grow up I am going to go to a meeting. And then when I am done with the meeting, I am going to have coffee." - Blake 8/2014 on career aspirations.

"I JUST WANTED TO HAVE A PEACEFUL MORNING!!!" Davis screaming at the top of his lungs 8/2014.

"Pooping is for suckers!" - Blake, explaining to his little brother that you can't just have a sucker for anything 8/2014.

"This car is so lame." - Blake 8/2014.

"I want to use the portal potty." - Blake 8/2014.

"Mom, you should wear a shirt that says 'we're not fashion stars, we just wear any color'" - Davis' explanation for why he doesn't match and why I shouldn't worry about it 8/2014.

"I love girls. I love goggles. I love girls in goggles." - Blake admiring his view at swimming lessons 7/2014.

"I love you so I will let you borrow your phone." -Blake letting me borrow my own phone 7/2014.

"No offense mom, but your fake laugh sounds like...well...a fake laugh." - Davis telling it like it is 6/2014.

"I'm looking for the letters to play PROSPECTOR on the board because I don't have any of those letters." -Hayden, playing scrabble, just before I realized it was going to be a loooooong game. 1/2012

"Jinx! Double Jinx! Triple Jink! Fourple Jinx!" Hayden and Davis in unison, ongoing 2014.

"I learned how to budget from playing the Smurfs game on my iTouch." said the kid who spent ninety nine REAL dollars on smurfberries using an app, Davis 1/2014.

"Why do Legos cost so much when WE are the ones that make the toy?" Hayden 1/2014.

"Mom, should I be a trash man when I grow up?" Blake, 1/2014 still considering his career aspirations.

"Mom, should I be a princess when I grow up?" Blake, 1/2014 after seeing Gru on Despicable Me dress up like a princess.

"Mom, can you spank my brother?" Blake 1/2014.

"Are the kids at school?" Blake 1/2014.

"Hello big boys!" Nathan greeting his older brothers 1/2014.

"Do three year olds toot?" Blake, asking a valid question as he celebrated his third birthday 11/2013.

More Here {Kids Say}

Hayden

Hayden is 10 and our oldest child. The guinea pig kid, as we call him. Our plan is to figure out this whole parenting thing with him - write the handbook - and then tweak it for the other kids. He's most likely to end up exactly like his Dad....except he's going to have triplets because he thinks that would be cool. He loves football and wants to write a book - but before he gets started, he wants to make sure he has an illustrator and publisher lined up. Jeff is his favorite parent, and it's obvious.

Nathan

Nathan is 2 and he's the thinker among us. He often looks confused at how he ended up in this crazy family. There's a chance he may never talk because his older brothers do all the talking for him, but that doesn't stop him from getting everything he needs. He enjoys meeting new people and often walks up to complete strangers asking to be picked up...almost like he's interviewing for his replacement family. He's a dare-devil and the most likely to pursue a career like Evel Knievel. GrandDad is his favorite, and it's obvious.

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Monday, January 13, 2014

An Attempt at a Metaphor

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