The One Where I Lose My Mind

I'm just popping in to say Hi and Good Morning!  - or "Ah' Low" and "Ah' Morning", as Nathan would say.

This week is a super duper busy week for us. 

Saturday is the big Destination Imagination competition so we are doing last minute practices and projects to prepare. This year, I'm coaching a team for both Hayden and Davis - and they have been hard at work on their challenges since the end of October.

You have never seen so much epoxy, spray paint, modge podge, hot glue, and duct tape as what is floating around my house at any given moment. At this point, I am starting to get mixed up about which project goes with which team - and I am just ready for Saturday to roll around so we can see them shine. If they win, they go to the State Tournament in Austin and if they lose, I get about 10 hours a week of my time back.

In other words, it's a Win / Win !

All that to say Jeff and I have spent an excessive amount of time deciding what bottle of wine we want to crack open to celebrate on Saturday night - after the 12 hour competition, and then Hayden's football game - that is.

Also, Hayden started flag football and had his first game last Sunday. The good news is that he looks really good. The bad news is that their first game was against what could only be described as a professional team of 10 year olds. That fifty minutes seemed to DRAAAAG by as the Hurricanes got strummed. In the end, it looked more like a basketball score than a football score. 

Davis starts his flag football career tonight. And while there aren't many things I love more than sitting outside and watching football practice (love it!), I may have to sit this one out since it is scheduled to be 44 degrees this evening. Brrrrrrr. 

Good luck Davis! Run fast  in your new cleats!  You're up Jeff!

Blake is going to be playing his first sport this year - t-ball. He he hasn't officially started practicing yet, but I am so excited. I can't wait to see how much he is going to LOVE having his own team - and jersey - and audience....instead of being a spectator at his big brother's games. However, I just found out that parents might be required to participate and run to the bases with the kids. If that's the case - I need to make it official and say...

NOT IT!

You are up again Jeff! But you understand right? That would just be embarrassing to have everyone in the stands see my 3 year old beat me to first base. 

***

Since all of that above wasn't keeping me busy enough, I thought I would add a little more excitement to the mix and decided to click the 'Make Me Move' button on Zillow....just to see what would happen.

And you're not going to believe what happens when you do that.

People call you and try to make you move!

And want you to show them your house that day.

There is not much on the market in our area so while we haven't officially listed the house, we have seen A LOT of interest. It's clear that it's a sellers market, which is great until you go and look for a replacement house. 

I have shown the house twice now and at some point I even told Jeff this news. After he mentioned he was going to come home for lunch, I informed him there might be people looking at the house at that point. 

To which he replied, WHAT THA WHAT?!

I figure if we can sell it for my overstated asking price without a realtor, he'll get on board. Plus it makes it a whole lot easier to negotiate when you aren't even quite sure you want to move. :)

In fairness, he knew I had clicked the 'Make Me Move' button on Zillow, but neither of us had any idea anything would happen since it wasn't listed through a realtor / MLS. 

So here is how it usually goes down: 

The person calls and asks to see the house (ALWAYS on a preschool day). 

I rush home and spend 2 hours "picking up" the house and making beds and doing hiding dishes. 

The people show up and get the tour from me.

I'm literally out of breath from last minute RUN/cleaning.

They leave. 

I open my computer to look for houses in the area we want to move (West Frisco / Prosper).

I find nothing.

And then I'm all 'oh crud...I hope those people don't really want to buy our house.'

Anyway, that's us in a nutshell this week. 

Whew! 

{The Blogs I Never Posted} Video Games & The Experiment

***

I am not exactly sure what I intended to write when I saved this picture into my drafts blog 3+ years ago. I think it was something about how when the kids lost their electronics "privileges", they would often prefer to sit idle watching their brother play.

Those were the days of the Nintendo DS.
Then came the Nintendo DS-XL.
Then the Nintendo 3DS.
Then the generation of the present - the Nintendo 3DS-XL.

Between that, and all of the Skylanders / Skylanders Giants / Skylanders Swap Force non-sense, I decided that I was never going to introduce the little guys to Video Games.

They would be my experiment, I declared to anyone that would listen.

To see if they would grow up to be Rocket Scientists because they never wasted their time on the ever changing video console landscape.

And then Santa went and brought the kids an X-Box One for Christmas, 2013. 

This wouldn't be a problem except that the Xbox One is so technologically advanced that you just talk to it to turn it on.

"Xbox Turn On" you say, and it responds.

Herein lies the problem.

Blake Talks.

And as a result, he has picked up most of the phrases used to direct the Xbox from his older brothers (including XBOX TURN OFF! - which he saves for when they make him mad).

I say most of because the console requires you to be very exact with the phrasing or it won't respond.

While Blake only knows a couple of the commands, he's hard headed enough to keep talking to the XBox until it responds (meaning until he happens to say the right words in the right order).

Xbox Turn On! (this one is an actual command, and always works for him- but then it gets a little trickier)

XBox Should you let me play Lego?

XBox Should you?

Xbox Turn to Lego!!?

Xbox Get to Legos!!?

Xbox SHOULD YOU!!?

XBox Play Legos!

XBox Go Home! (this is another actual command)

...And on and on and on....until something he says finally starts the game. The whole thing is very entertaining to watch. All that to say - so much for THAT no-video-game-experiment! 

Sidenote: We set the system up in our bedroom because of all of the other things it offers (RedBox, Netflix, VUDU, Amazon, etc). But I have to say, the whole thing sort of freaks me out a bit - like I'm being watched. Jeff and Hayden are set up as user profiles - and the "amazing technology" now recognizes them when they walk into the room --- even if we are just watching TV. A little thing will pop on the TV and say Hi Jeff!

Things that make you go Hmmm. 

{The Blogs I Never Posted} That Time When Jeff Was A Coach

****

We were half way through the basketball season and our record was 0 and 4.

We’d made 8 points total - unless you excluded those 2 that were taken away because of a foul, and those other 2 that were scored by the opposing team.

So yea, it was going well.

Actually, considering all things, it really was a good season.

Our team was the last team put together and most had never dribbled a ball all the way up the court, much less played an entire game.

We were playing teams that had played together for years. They were running plays and stealing balls while our team was learning the difference between basketball and tackle football and other small details...like which goal to throw the ball into.

We were pleasantly surprised with how well Hayden had kept his head in the game vs. his baseball days.

He was fast and seemed to think it was more of a track meet than a basketball game. If he would have ever figured out how to take a ball down the court with him, he would have been in pretty good shape since he was the first one down the court 9 times out of 10.

Hayden played very close attention to the game when he was on the court. If someone shot the ball, he wouldn’t take his eyes off the ball.

(Not for rebound purposes, but so that he would know when he should start sprinting to the other end of the court.)

Also, if one of his team members happened to catch it, he knew to mimic what the rest of his team is doing…which was to chirp “Pass! Pass! Pass!” like a bunch of baby birdies.

That was about the extent of our “plays” in 7U Basketball.

If you happened to catch the ball (read: get hit in the head with it), you had three options:

1) Shoot it! (regardless of your proximity to the goal)

2) Pass it to one of your chirping teammates! (or a teammate on the opposite team if they seem nice enough)

3) Take a knee and down the ball! (this usually ends in a wrestling match)

***Update: Hayden's basketball career was short lived. It was just one season when he was 7, much to Jeff's dismay...but watch out Johnny Football - he's moved on to bigger and better things!

Things That Are Contagious - Part 1

This was going to be the title of my post - but it wasn't going to be about cooties. It was going to be about Blake's unique dialect - and the fact that it is spreading through the family like wildfire.

And then wouldn't you know it, before I could click publish, I got a call from the school nurse saying that Hayden was running a fever and needed to come home. On a day when the little boys are at Mothers Day Out, no less.

Does he have no decency at all?

Kidding! Kidding! Hayden's doing fine now.

He's bundled up in blankets on the couch with his Ham Sandwich, Sprite, and Cheetos all within arms reach. He's watching Finding Bigfoot and I'm sure he'll be on the road to recovery soon.

"Ugh! Davis really needs to start washing his hands better!" he rolled his eyes and said, in an effort to explain how he got sick.

Keep in mind,  Davis isn't sick but the little brother is always a good target when you are looking to blame someone for something....and Hayden's convinced Davis is solely responsible for bringing all germs into the house.

{The Blogs I Never Posted} The Angler Fish

****

The Angler Fish

When Hayden was in 1st ... 2nd ... Some Previous Grade, they did a science unit on oceanography. 

They had to pick an ocean animal of their choosing, study it, 

and for Bonus Points! they could create a 3D version of it. 

Hayden chose the angler fish because I think he liked the teeth and the lightbulb. 

(Clearly this is an old draft - created when the Lyle Family still cared about Bonus Points!)

So one weekend Jeff and Hayden tackled the project 

of creating a paper mache angler fish.

(I have no idea how Jeff drew the short straw.) 

(But in my defense, he is the one that took Art in high school).

 I also have no idea where Hayden went during the process but 

every picture I have was of Matt and Jeff with messy hands covering this balloon.

Kind of like the pottery scene from Ghost, but different.

Anyway, I think we can all agree that Matt and Jeff did a fine job and could ACE elementary school!

 

****

Bonus Points! for anyone who can guess what animal Davis will pick when he studies the ocean unit?

And Blake. 

And Nathan. 

The Thursday Folder

I often go through Hayden's Thursday folder and chuckle at some of the stuff I see. 

And I'm not talking about the New Way of Doing Math. I'll save that for another post when you are ready to spend the afternoon hearing me vent. 

MATH HASN'T CHANGED. THERE IS NO NEED TO REINVENT THE WHEEL. 

Anyway, here are a few of the things I found: 

***

I noticed he was learning about Helen Keller – which I remember learning about in elementary school and thinking it was heart wrenching.

Me: Oh, your learning about Helen Keller? That’s so sad isn’t it.

Hayden: Yea! She was Bad! She was full of drama!

***

On Hayden’s spelling quiz, he had made 100 but his teacher had made a note out to the side about improving his handwriting. When I saw this, I used it as an opportunity to reiterate what his teacher was saying.

Me: You really need to slow down when you are writing. Your teacher made a note that you need to work on improving your handwriting. Just slow down and focus.

Hayden: Okay, I will try to go about 9% slower.

Somewhat related: The other day, in casual conversation Hayden mentioned that he thought Jeff was DEFINITELY smarter than me. "About 40% smarter, " he said with confidence. I will definitely acknowledge that Jeff is smarter than me. He scored about 30 points higher than me on the SAT so that fact was established long ago....but 40% is a STRETCH. 

I'll give you 5% smarter.  

MAX!!!

***

I also reviewed one of his science worksheets and had to laugh when I looked over the problem, hypothesis, and conclusion.

Problem:

What will happen when you put two magnets together?

Hypothesis:

They will either attract or repel?

Conclusion – was your hypothesis right? Why or Why not?

Yes, because I learned this last year.

 * I would attach a picture but based on the handwriting issues above you would have to know what you are looking at.

The Day Hayden Found Out About the People of Walmart

One evening last month I was coaching Davis' DI team in the dining room. It is a team of seven kids and the meetings include a lot of interaction and brainstorming to solve a challenge.

Because Blake and Nathan's voice can be heard round the world, Jeff often uses this time to get the other kids out of the house so that the team can focus without the sounds of complete mayhem filling up the room.

This particular night he took them to the grocery store to pick up a few things and invited Hayden along to help him.

Jeff managed his way through the aisles of the store and picked up our organic fruits, vegetables, and milk.

(And mac and cheese and pop tarts).

You know, the basics.

I'm sure it was quite a scene - as it always is when you have a man overseeing three kids and two baskets (one for the kids and one for the food).

Anyway, Jeff and the kids made their way to the checkout line and an elderly cashier began ringing up their groceries.

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

When the man went to scan the milk he accidentally dropped it and it began to leak. He held it up to show Jeff.

Jeff acknowledged that it was in fact leaking and then kind of paused - hoping that the cashier would call over a manager? another cashier? a runner? to go to the back of the store and grab another gallon of milk, given the Retail Industry is all about the customer.

But instead the man just sat there continuing to hold up the jug of milk and asked "Do you still want it?"

"Uhm. No. I guess I will just go grab another one." Jeff said, a bit shocked by the whole exchange and knowing he couldn't show back up to the house without milk since we seem to go through about 33 gallons a week.

Jeff thought for a minute and decided that it was too much trouble to drag the kids and the carts all the way to the back of the store with him - so he asked Hayden to go.

Hayden quickly declined.

(Hayden is the type of kid that could get lost in his own bedroom - and he knows this about himself.)

So Jeff decided to do it alone. But before he left, he instructed Hayden to STAY NEXT TO THE BABIES - AND DON'T LET THEM JUMP OUT OF THE CART!

Hayden nodded like a deer in the headlights and Jeff started trekking through the store- around the $5 movie bin, through the women's workout clothes - past the wine and to his destination - the Great Value Milk.

While Jeff was on his way, the elderly cashier stopped ringing groceries behind the counter and made his way over to stand next to Hayden and the grocery carts.

Maybe he overheard the stern warnings from Jeff to NOT LET THE BABIES JUMP OUT OF THE CART or maybe the man just wanted to use the extra time to get to know Hayden - but whatever the case he was now positioned in the checkout line with Hayden, Blake and Nathan.

And that's when he began his ice breaker questions.

Elderly Cashier Man: Hi!

Blake: Hi!

Hayden: silently thinking:  whenisdadcomingback? whenisdadcomingback? whenisdadcomingback?

Elderly Cashier Man: How old are you?!

Blake: Free! (Three)

Elderly Cashier Man: Can you take your teeth out?

Hayden: silently thinking:  whenisdadcomingback? whenisdadcomingback? whenisdadcomingback?

Blake: No! (confused, intrigued - I have no idea what Blake is thinking at this point)

Elderly Cashier Man: Do you want to see me take my teeth out?

Hayden: silently thinking:  whenisdadcomingback? whenisdadcomingback? whenisdadcomingback?

Blake: YES! 

***

And so that's the story of how Hayden found himself in the Walmart check out line at age 10, making sure that two small children DID NOT JUMP OUT OF THE CART while the cashier pulled out his fake teeth and held them up for all to get a closer look.

I can only imagine Hayden's face.  

When he got home that night and retold the story, he took a long sigh and asked - Why are people in Walmart SO WEIRD?!?

And while I couldn't answer that question, I let him know that there is an entire website dedicated to that very topic (http://www.peopleofwalmart.com), but told him that we have to continue shopping there because they really do offer a Great Value. 

Then I rubbed his head and told him that one day - when he gets to be a grown up he can start shopping at Market Street and Central Market and all those other fancy-shmancy grocery stores that probably hire cashiers that won't take out their teeth in an effort to make conversation. 

Sloppy Joe {Recipe}

We have Sloppy Joes for dinner about once a month and there always has to be some clarification around which kind of Sloppy Joes they are.

Jeff prefers pulled pork sandwiches (which we call Sloppy Joes) as opposed to the ground beef Sloppy Joes.

Hayden prefers the ground beef Sloppy Joes.

To keep the peace, I rotate the variety up.

I'm kind like that.

Anyway, on this particular night, Hayden found out we were having Sloppy Joes and he and I had that same old "which kind of Sloppy Joes" conversation. This time, with a twist.

Hayden: What are we having for dinner?

Me: Sloppy Joes.

Hayden: YESSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!

Wait!!?!?!?

Which kind??!??

Is it the stringy kind of pork stuff or is it the kind that looks like mashed up barf?

Me: Uhm. The kind that looks like mashed up barf, although that's not how I would describe it.

Hayden: YESSSSS!!!

That's my favorite!

****

p.s. isn't it ironic that this is the first post under "recipes" on the menu bar up top. They are going to get better, I swear. Once I finish my bon bons, my soap operas, and quit jacking around with this website, I will surf Pinterest and find something better.

Or you can just go straight to my pinterest account and make the assumption I have made everything I've pinned and check out all the super-creative "friends" I am living vicariously through.

{Extraordinary}

As I was going through Hayden's backpack this evening,

I ran across these three books he had checked out from the

library this week.

Since it's fairly uncommon to see I've never seen him

reading in his free time, I decided to ask him about them.

***

Me: Hayden, do you really intend to read all

of these books between now and next Monday?

Hayden: Oh no! I just like to look at the covers and the

thick books are the best for playing the drums on.

{Black and White}

{Two More Minutes}

 

We've adopted a new strategy in the Lyle household and if you have seen me in the last month, its likely you have heard me raving about our Best Parenting Tool EVER.

 

Also, it's our only Parenting Tool I can think of.

 

It's called the Time Timer.

 

It is technically for toddlers to help them understand the concept of time (time out for 2 minutes, we'll go to the park in 20 minutes, etc.) and when I bought it, that's what I thought I would use it for.

 

But then I realized that while Blake has no idea of the concept of 1 minute vs. 30 minutes, the older boys probably didn't either. Also, as they get older, I realize that it's just common courtesy to give them upfront expectations regarding the daily plans.

 

Think about it...even as adults we get annoyed if we are busy doing something and someone walks up and says "Stop what you are doing. Put on your shoes. We are leaving. NOW!"

 

The night before the first day of school this year, I had a light bulb moment and decided to use it for the bigger boys. Each morning, during the breakfast/cartoons/getting dressed routine, Jeff sets the timer for 45 Minutes.

 

If the kids are completely ready by the time the timer goes off (the red disappears), they earn their electronics privilege after school. Originally the plan was that they would lose their privileges if they were not finished in time, but Jeff came up with the brilliant idea to flip around the sentence and make it more about positive reinforcement instead of negative consequences. It's really the same thing, but it's all in the way you say the sentence.

 

Anyway, this has been a life changer in our house.

 

Before the Time Timer, you would hear Jeff and I barking out orders to Brush Your Teeth! Put Your Shoes On! from every room in the house. I'd say on an average morning, we'd say it around 1,897 times.

 

But Now!

 

Now we don't have to say anything except noting that the timer is starting.

It's so much better and happier in our house because of this one simple clock and incentive.

 

If I do happen to see that they are struggling staying focused, I just ask one of the boys to confirm how much time is left since I pretend that I am "racing the clock" as well.

 

So far, so good. We are at 100% success and they are both riding the bus to school now, meaning they are walking out the door about 40 minutes earlier than last year.

 

I highly recommend it.

Buy one here.

Day 29: A Number

Ten: The number of teeth that have been lost at the Lyle house.

Two: The number of times we have successfully pulled off the

 tooth fairy thing on the first night.

Jeff and I really stink at being the tooth fairy.

I feel like we make a good Santa team

and we pull off a pretty good show as the Easter bunny,

but both of those are planned and discussed months in advance.

The spontaneity of the whole Tooth Fairy gig

 just seems to throw us off.  

Fortunately, we have convinced the boys that each tooth fairy is different.

That was my genius idea to explain why they will never

 be paid 20 bucks for a tooth like some of their friends.

A lesson in Market Value, really.

Just like houses, teeth in different areas of the country have different values.

Here in Plano, teeth are worth one dollar. 

And that is only when she finds time in her schedule to come pick them up.

But the tooth fairy that represents our zip code is kind of a slacker.

She needs to be put on a Performance Improvement Plan, really.

***

On this particular day last week, Hayden lost his tooth at school.

We congratulated him and then forgot all about

it about thirty seconds later.

Fast forward to the next morning he came downstairs pretty bummed

that the Tooth Fairy hadn't shown the night before.

Jeff does a pretty good job scurrying around the house, rounding up a dollar

and leading Hayden back into his room to make sure he didn't just "miss" the payment.

"No DAD! I know she didn't come because the

 tooth is still sitting on my night stand!" Hayden said as they

walked up the stairs to re-examine his room.

Sure enough, it turns out that the tooth fairy HAD in fact been to our house.

She had hid the dollar under his lamp.

And that tooth Hayden thought he saw still sitting on his night stand?

It was a tiny note written by "her" that said "Way to go Hayden!

I think Hayden is on to us, but is going along with it

because, really? why wouldn't he?

He still has plenty of dollars to earn.

Alive and Well, But Busy

You know that whole blog a day thing? Well, we had a good run while it lasted, right?

Obviously, that didn’t work out.

At first I skipped a couple of days and my head was spinning...in a constant state of guilt.

Then I skipped a few more and I found myself writing catch up blogs in my head…which completely stressed me out more.

It was sort of like that time when I was a six year old little girl BAWLING hysterically to my mom because I couldn't stop saying curse words IN MY HEAD.

Do you have any idea how stressful it is to repeat bad words in your head that your bad-influence-friend says? Words like 'sucks' and 'stupid'. Very stressful!

Anyway, another week or so of Not Blogging went by and suddenly I was all, “Blog? What blog?”

Fast forward two months and that’s where we are today. Since we last spoke, this particular boy has gotten HUGE!

There is definitely a lot happening these days, but not a lot of free time to sit down and soak it all in.

So here are the top thirty nine things we (one or all of us) have been up to over the last couple of months. I will follow up with individual blog posts in more detail, but this should get you up to speed for the most part. I’m sure it goes without saying at this point…don’t hold your breath for those posts.

1. Stayed at home for FOUR STRAIGHT days due to snow and ice.

2. Became thankful that I don’t live north of the Red River since there would probably be a lot more weather days.

3. And that I have a full time job.

4. Started a diet.

5. Taught the kids how to say “Duh! Winning!”…a parenting moment we will no doubt look back on with pride.

6. Bragged about a baby who sleeps through the night (when he feels like it).

7. Stopped bragging about a baby who sleeps through the night after realizing I was jinxing myself.

8. Started official Karate Tae Kwon Do classes. I’m still not sure of the difference, but I know that I get corrected every time I say Karate. These lessons cost more than the previous ones which included a $1 Redbox rental of the new Karate Kid movie with Jayden Smith.

9. Attended the third annual Girl Scout Cookie Taste Test hosted by Mimi and GrandDad. If you have a Girl Scout in your family, grab a pen and write this name down…Mike Stadler. You won’t regret it.

10. Ended a diet.

11. Started Blake on baby food.

12. Wondered aloud how someone in my bloodline can HATE food so much.

13. Dressed Hayden up like a 100 year old for the 100th 104th day of school. Those snow days got in the way of a lot of good things. Including peace and quiet.

14. Bought tennis rackets. And matching sweatbands.

15. Played tennis.

16. Chased tennis balls.

17. Lost tennis balls.

18. Started a diet.

19. Became (what felt like) a single mom while Jeff worked 20 hour days.

20. Picked my favorite kid of the day to sleep in my bed during those long nights (they didn’t know the selection process).

21. Thanked God that on Jeff’s last busy night, he arrived home literally minutes before Angel ate a baby bunny and regurgitated it in her crate.

22. Realized that when I say “this is my busiest time at work”, it has a whole different meaning than when Jeff says it.

23. Fed the kids raw oysters for the first time.

24. Made a 3-D angler fish complete with a flashing light. Hey, first grade parents…WE’RE BACK IN THE GAME!

25. Spent way too much time scouring match.com (totally unrelated to the Jeff working late thing).

26. Convinced Davis that he should create a TV show called Kid vs. Food (similar to Man vs. Food) after he ate over a dozen wings.

27. Cheered the Cow-Q-Lated BBQ team on (Matt and Jeff) in their second competition.

28. Ended a diet.

29. Took all three boys to their annual well check appointment.

30. Realized that we were 4 days early for said doctor’s appointment.

31. Waited 4 days and revisited the doctor with all three boys in tow.

32. Determined that while efficient, a triple doctor’s appointment that involves shots for two out of three kids was not practical.

33. Tricked the kids into a photo shoot at the house.

34. Hosted a Belated New Year’s Eve and Minute to Win It Party.

35. Made homemade blueberry muffins after Davis sung the days of the week song and realized that “saying the word Monday reminds him of blueberry muffins.”

36. Convinced Davis that even though we know how to make blueberry muffins (with the help of Betty Crocker), it doesn’t mean we should sell them to our friends and cousins.

37. Lost a tooth. Then literally lost the tooth again - - somewhere in the carpet. I would like to apologize in advance if you are ever at our house and happen to step on a tooth.

Note Jeff in the background searching for the tooth 

38. Advised Hayden to write a note to the tooth fairy explaining his predicament.

39. Aged another year and was gifted with an adorable sock monkey.

One Hundred Nine: Lessons

Directed toward Hayden:
What is the first thing you are going to teach your baby brother?
Science. Like science experiments. Like how to shrink a feather.

Directed toward Davis:
What is the first thing you are going to teach your baby brother?
That when a dog goes (panting noises), it means he is tired.
Then I am going to teach him about site words. Did you know I have a site word in my name.
IS!
Seriously, who needs kindergarten when lessons like this will be readily available from your big brothers?

Ninety Two: Ailments & Hyper Activity

Last week, we once again had the benefit of spending another $80 and 3 hours at the pediatrician for Hayden. At first it appeared to be the same syptoms as he had in early October... high fever, headache, lethargic...but once the doctor listened to his chest, she informed me that he had Brochitis on its way to becoming Pnemonia. This was shocking to me since, as you know, I am a self educated Pediatrician through WebMD, and believe it or not, Bronchitis was not even on my radar. He barely even had a cough.

I have been to many doctors appointments, and I have to say, this whole thing was one of the worst experiences ever.  While in the office, they couldn't manage his fever so they gave him a dose of tylenol, a dose of motrin, a cold compress, a breathing treatment and an extra strength antibiotic "injectable."

Now, I have never been one of those parents that cry when their kids get shots, but this visit was BRUTAL.

Technically I knew that he would be getting an "injectable antibiotic" since the doctor and I had been talking in code minutes before. I purposely had postponed telling Hayden that small detail for as long as possible because I didn't want him getting anxious about it. Then the nurse walked in and sort of spoiled the surprise by talking about the fact that she would actually be giving him TWO shots, one in each leg, because the needle was so BIG and the medicine was so THICK (do they not teach the code words in nursing school???) .

"Great," I thought as she attempted to show me the proper way to hold him down using HIM in the demonstration.

By that time Hayden had definitely figured out that "injectable" was a synonym for "shot" and was already trying to jump off the table. Once she realized my belly was going to get in the way in the hold down process, she called for back up. I was left with the sole job of rubbing his head and listening to him scream and yell AT ME at the top of his lungs.

OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

GET THOSE THINGS OUT OF ME!!!

OOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWW

DID YOU SIGN ME UP FOR THIS??? (with emphasis on you while making direct eye contact)

OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
I JUST WANTED DANABIOTICS!!! NOT A SHOT!

OOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWW

Let's just say that if he knew cuss words (or was able to somehow get there through rhyming techniques, like his little brother) he would have DEFINITELY been using them in this situation. He was MAD.

And he wasn't just mad, he was mad AT ME. Because I had "signed him up for this."

I am happy to report that we are finally almost over the hump. Now the only symptom is the craziness that happens after one of his breathing treatments.

Luckily, we haven't had to do breathing treatments since he was really little, but within five mintues of the breathing treatments, Hayden's personality morphs into Davis'. He starts singing and rhyming and jumping and dancing and giggling and oh.my. goodness. if it's not one of the funniest things I ever seen. It's like a frat house around here with the highs and the lows.

Wish us luck disinfecting the house before the big arrival!

Dear Hayden

So you are seven now...which means anything you didn't know last year when you were six, you DEFINITELY know now. Your vocabulary is increasing by the day and you use the words literally and seriously all the time now. Seriously. It is literally one of the cutest things I have ever witnessed. I feel much more secure about what is going to come out of your mouth at any given point, when compared to your brother. He is always trying to make up new words by rhyming and about once a week he lands on a word that would make sailors blush. It's quite scary when in public places.

You still have many similarities of your dad. From the way you let loose in front of only a select set of people, to your not-so-stellar listening skills. Your body, your hair, your cuddling skills, you are his mini-Me. That's not to say there are no differences though. Right now you HATE PE and moan and groan on Tuesdays and Fridays when you are forced to wear tennis shoes. WHY DO FIRST GRADERS HAVE TO RUN SIX LAPS you question in the most pathetic whine. I actually was feeling a little sympathetic for you because I remember those torturous days at Lemm Elementary until you pointed out the area that you run laps. Hayden, the total lap circumference is about 30 feet. Even I could run that far 9 months pregnant, assuming they would let me stop and use the restroom between each lap.

I always worry about how well you make new friends in your classes and was a little disappointed to hear that your closest friends from last year aren't in your class this year. In fact, this was one of the topics of discussion last week when your Dad and I met with your teacher for the annual parent teacher conference. She assured us that while you were very quiet at first, you have made some good friends and seemed to get along with everyone. I was a little reassured, but still not completely convinced until she e-mailed me this picture last Thursday from when you celebrated your birthday in the classroom with the cupcakes I brought in.

That's the Hayden I know and LOVE, but quick question: who is that little girl resting her head on your shoulder? I know we said it pays to catch 'em young, but we may need to revisit that topic.

This year was one of your best birthdays ever because between you and your brother, you almost have all of the Nickelodeon commercials covered with your new toys. This was the first year however that you really recognized the four day gap between your brother's birthday and yours...and I think those four days were completely miserable for you. The fact that he was now five and you were still six drove you absolutely CRAZY! Which of course means Davis brought it up approximately 19 times a day.

And then FINALLY you turned seven. You were strangely as excited about being seven years old as you are the fact that you will be TEN when you are in the fourth grade. Definitely something to look forward to son.

You are still in the Justin Bieber phase, except this week you've moved on from the Baby single (thank the Lord!) to his new single with Jaden Smith, Never Say Never. And I'm not going to lie, there has been more than one occasion where the sight of you walking around with your headphones, LOOKING LIKE A TWELVE YEAR OLD, singing this song word for word has brought a tear to my eye.

Because (at the risk of sounding like you) SERIOUSLY?!? Are we already at this point? It feels like yesterday we were forcing you to ride a horsie at 6 weeks old and teaching you how to say your name, Hayden Freffery Lala!

Where does the time go? I might as well start filling out your financial aid papers for college because I know that time is just around the corner. Although, while we are on the subject, you should really spend some more time practicing baseball because a scholarship would definitely help the financial plan. No pressure though.

I love you sweet boy. Your gorgeous blue eyes.  Your trampoline skills only surpassed by your jedi fighting skills. Your uncanny similarities to the man I fell in love with. Your laugh. Your smile. And of course your snuggling in the mornings.



Love, Mom

Seventy Six - Reward

If the boys earn a stamp or smiley face for five

consecutive days, they are rewarded with one dollar on Friday evening.

That means we have to allot roughly an hour the

following Saturday to stand in the toy aisle

at the dollar store waiting for them to make their big toy decision.

Obviously, we haven't yet taught them the importance of SAVING.

It's on the life lessons list, somewhere after how to flush the potty

and how to spit out toothpaste without it getting all over the mirror.

Last weeks decision: Silly string and silly bandz

Four: Swimming Lessons

This day marked the last day of swim lessons for 2010. Every day for two weeks straight I would rush to the boys school and change them into their bathing suits in a bathroom approximately the size of 4 square feet.

This year, swimming just sort of clicked for Hayden. Thanks to Ms. Rhea, his swimming instructor and Peyton, his younger cousin, who showed him how to dive under water on our family vacation.

Davis, however, thinks he is an Olympic swimmer. No need for lessons because he already knows everything there is to know about swimming. In fact he spends most of the lesson under water. Not necessarily swimming, but just avoiding listening, I believe.

Last year, we really emphasized the importance of doggy paddling, because I wanted them to, you know, LIVE, if they ever accidentally fell into a pool. While I have no regrets on the doggy paddling lessons, it's a little embarrassing when he attempts to hijack the class to teach them the importance of Doggy Paddling.

Plus there was this one time when she asked Davis to put his head under water and blow bubbles. Just as he had almost lowered his head into the water, he instead decided it was the appropriate time to stop the class and show his stupid human trick: making bubbles on his tongue.

A trick only him and his dad can do. An impressive trick, but an inappropriate time, no less.

Poor Ms. Rhea, the swimming instructor. Bless her heart. You know she dreads the 6:00-6:30 lessons.

Dear Hayden,

I know I don’t need to tell you this, but YOU’RE SIX!

Six?!?

How in the world do I have a six year old? It seems like just weeks ago I was trying to figure out how to change your diaper without pee ending up on the ceiling. You’d think we would have learned the "washrag trick" after only a few times, but in our sleepless state of insanity, it took like two months to figure that out. Now you have gone and turned SIX!

And when you go to the bathroom now, pee still goes everywhere…but we’re not involved. Oh my, how time flies.
Now that you are six you have to hold up two hands to tell someone your age…which if you don’t already know, is a big deal in my book. I have been writing this blog in my head for the last six months. You may hear this fact and wonder why then, am I so late in posting it?

It’s that ever since you entered Kindergarten, my head has been spinning with homework, dress up days, and holiday parties. Sometime between 1985 and the present, Kindergarten turned into a social club with more events than a college fraternity.
You are doing great other than the fact that you have donated four jackets to Taylor Elementary.

Me, on the other hand? I am just trying to keep me head above water.

One specific Friday that stands out was the annual Kindergarten Fairy Tale Ball. You were supposed to dress up like a character from any fairy tale. Without consulting you, I decided that a knight would be the perfect costume (since your unlimited supply of Superhero costumes would not be permitted at the Ball). The knight costume was ideal since it was purchased from the Dollar Store.

The night before the Big Ball, I overheard you telling your Dad about the big event the next day and with an enthusiastic tone, you told him of your exciting plans to dress as the BIG! BAD! WOLF!

When I heard the commotion, I rushed into the room in an attempt to smooth over the situation.

I was all, “Ummmm. Actually, Hayden…you’re not going to dress up like the Big Bad Wolf. You are going to dress up like a knight!” I said with as much excitement as possible.

“The night?” You said with uncertainty. “Why would I dress up like the night?”

The next thirty or so minutes were spent arguing about whether you would wear your one dollar silver(ish) shield or dress up like the Big Bad Wolf.

“It wasn’t fair!” you claimed. “Ethan was going to dress up like Humpty Dumpty, Ryan a pirate, and Jackson is going to be a King!”

I started feeling like the world’s worst parent.

So, against your Dad’s wishes, I began brainstorming with Hayden about Plan B.

“He could dress up like the Emperor in his new clothes,” your Dad said sarcastically as he shook his head in disbelief that I was entertaining your last minute switch.

Finally we reached a compromise. We didn’t have the supplies to whip up a Big Bad Wolf Costume, or a Hansel costume, or even a Pinocchio costume. "But we only need red overalls and a big long nose!" you whined.

Instead we rounded up the basic staples of a pirate. Plus you could carry a sword. BONUS!
The next day you can imagine my surprise when I asked about how Ethan looked as Humpty Dumpty?

“Oh, he decided to go as a knight,” you said nonchalantly.

“What about Ryan? Was it cool that you were both pirates?”

“He decided to go as a knight too. I was the only Pirate in the entire Kindergarten!!!”

Unfortunately, that wasn’t the only drama we’ve had regarding these weekly dress up days. Your Dad and I came close to needing marriage counseling after the first event when your class participated in the “Vocabulary Parade.” You were given the choice of several weird and very random words. Since this was the first event, I was still a willing participant in the unspoken competition between moms. We I scoured the non-costume-friendly vocabulary words and after ruling out Quarter, Computer, United States, and Pink, finally decided on “Partly Cloudy”.
I had a brilliant idea that involved a blue sweat suit, a yellow shirt, white felt, cotton balls, and exactly three safety pins per cloud. Your Dad offered to help and I graciously accepted.

So there we were, sitting in the middle of the living room floor at 10p.m., surrounded by hundreds of cotton balls arguing over how many safety pins were needed per cloud. I seriously questioned the stability of our marriage after I realized how different our views were regarding what clouds should look like on a sweatsuit.

All this to say you are very, very loved, Son.

Oh, and I am sure the counselor would have agreed that floppy clouds dangling by two safety pins looked sloppy.

Things to note in this picture: 1) the pure excitement on your face, 2)the yellow t-shirt that read "partly cloudy", 3) the floppy cloud on your right butt cheek, 4)the spray bottle that read "with a chance of rain"....Brilliant, if I do say so myself. Except that the spray bottle explains your sour face. You were just told that we were going to pour the water out before school. It was just for looks. Which was so NOT FAIR!
As you are well aware, these pictures of you ironing and helping us with this project were completely staged. I am not even sure why we staged them. It was somewhat reminiscent of my youth when I was in Odyssey of the Mind and we had to prove our involvement in through pictures. If your Mimi can find the picture, you’ll see me and my half permed bowl haircut operating a table saw. And just ask GrandDad about the time we ended up in the ER because he had me wash my hair with acetone to get some paint out of it.
But I digress. The point is: kindergarten is hard. And expensive. Between the sixty dollars in cookie dough, the Taylor Spirit shirt, the PTA membership for each of us (what should we do with that?), and the Holiday party dues, we probably could have paid your tuition for Texas A&M.

Speaking of cookie dough, since you were able to sell six boxes of dough, you won what you think is a glow in the dark dradel. It’s really just an old fashioned top that could of been purchased at Chuck E Cheese for 12 tickets, but you were proud of that dradel.

And for that, we were proud. Not to mention thankful for the 192 cookie dough balls.

Hayden, you are the best. I love the way you come over and whisper in my ear ‘do you want to have a talk tonight?’ fifteen minutes before bed. I even love your stall tactics to prolong our nightime talk. One night, you went so far as to randomly ask the definition of 'upgrade'.

You know, just out of curiousity.

I will never forget the night you told me the difference between Dream Makers and Dream Breakers. It was the first night you sort of opened up to me about bad things you had heard at school from some "Dream Breakers." It was that night when I realized just how hard it is going to be raising kids in this crazy world.
I love cuddling with you on the weekends and I love that you are just like your Dad in the sense that only those closest to you know how hilarious you are. You are the most likely to stand up and start dancing to a commercial…always singing 'I Want To Be Famous'…and still a marketer's dream, wanting every item you see on TV. I’m so thankful that you are our first born and I know that you will continue to set a good example for Davis.

Keep being a Dream Maker, Hayden!

Love, Mom