Maid Day

Every other Friday our house is professionally cleaned.

This means that every other Thursday I run around like a chicken with its head cut off - cleaning the house....cleaner than it has been in the prior 13 days.

So good, in fact, that I often question why we pay for this service.

And every other week, we come to the same conclusion.

The maids force us to clean - and as a bonus - they cleans the toilets.

Except last Thursday, I didn't go through that train of thought because I totally forgot they were coming.

That's not true. I remembered they were coming, but I decided to text them and cancel.

Then I forgot to text them.

So, the next morning when the doorbell rang at 9:00 a.m. I answered the door, exchanged a friendly Good Morning (and a What The Heck?!?! under my breath) and began my mad frenzy to pickup the house so that their mopping and dusting wouldn't go unnoticed among all the Legos.

And the Little People.

And Thomas and all of his Friends.

Typically, when they arrive every other Friday morning, we are either already out of the house - or we exchange pleasantries in passing and I load the kids up in the car and take them to meet a friend for a playdate or head to the gym.

Blake, who has never met a stranger, took this as his cue to distract the maids - probably so they wouldn't know that all this time we really weren't as put-together as it may have appeared.

"Hi Maids!" he said in a cheerful voice, following them up the stairs.

"Sooooo, Maids. It's cold outside, right?"

This is where I should stop and mention that we have 3 maids...they're sisters...but I only know one of them is named Irma and I am not entirely sure which one. I think I knew the other names and who was who at some point, but the whole thing is kind of like that Friends episode when Chandler can't tell the difference between Joey's sisters.

Now it has been too long and it feels really rude to ask.

So, I'm running around like crazy shoveling toys into boxes and Blake is now following around the one particular maid delegated to cleaning the upstairs (she drew the short straw) bombarding her with questions.

Mix that with his Could-You / Should-You semantics issue and this is what ensues:

"Hi Maids!"

"Maid, THANK YOU for cleaning up my mommy's trash!" he said, still following them.

"Maid, should you clean my room now?"

"Blake! Leave her alone!" I snapped.

"But SHOULD she?!"

"She's cleaning other things right now, and she will get to your room soon."

"Maid, should you clean the bathroom next?"

The whole thing was very embarrassing, and excluding duct tape over Blake's mouth, I really didn't know how to stop it. I didn't want to leave without making a valiant effort to pick up - and at the same time I wasn't even sure how much "Maid" understood of what Blake was saying, since English is her second language.

Only later did Jeff tell me how I should have handled the situation by telling Blake to call her by her name and that if he didn't know her name, he should ask her.

In other words, do as I say, not as I do.