Eleven: Painting "Three Simple Stripes"

Part of our home renovation included a serious paint undertaking. We tackled five rooms in one weekend. And I use the term “we” loosely since Jeff will not let me even pick up a paint brush. Not because of my pregnancy necessarily, but because of my condition.

My sloppy painting condition, that is.

I just lack the necessary patience.

In the past, I was only allowed to use the roller when painting and told to leave the cutting in to the expert (Jeff!). But after the last paint job, even the rollers were taken away from me.

Which means I was demoted to being the official taper this go ‘round. For someone that hasn’t exercised in 6 months (who am I kidding, 10 years!) taping turned out to be more strenuous than you would think.

In case anyone has seen the commercials for the new “Frog Tape” on the market that claims “to absorb latex paint ensuring a sharp line every time”,

DON’T BE FOOLED!

It is just the same old blue painters tape except it is green now. Of course, we didn’t realize that until we had painted ALL THREE boys rooms with the same three stripes (different colors) using this so-called-miracle-tape.

Next came hours and hours of touch-up painting.

Then came the final walk through from the general contractor (me!) followed by some robust dialogue over whether the walls needed an additional round of touch up painting...which, for the record is still up for discussion.

Let’s just say that if the marriage fails before our 11th anniversary, I will definitely cite Frog Tape and Unity Candle Burn Out on the divorce decree.