Honesty Is (Usually) the Best Policy

I am not proud of it, but it has recently come to our attention that Davis is just one of those kids that must be lied to at times to keep life moving.

Prior to Davis entering this world, there were very few occasions when I would lie. Like in the event I was running 5 minutes late for a party and a family member would call to find out where I was. I have been known to say I am driving down a specific street, if…let’s say…I could see that particular exit sign in the far distance…or maybe even if I knew that particular exit sign was in the far distance. As in “I’m on the Toll Road…I’m almost there”…when in reality I was almost to the Toll Road.

Or there was that one time when a man came to my front door selling pest control services. Rather than just politely saying I wasn’t interested, I instead told him that him that I would love to use his services, however, my husband took care of our pest control …because he was also in the business.

Just like that I lied.

I could have just told him that Jeff took care of our pest control. Period.

In fact, that is what I intended to tell him but before I finished my sentence, I realized Mr. Salesman probably had a canned response about how over-the-counter pesticides are not as effective as commercial pesticides. So that’s when I tacked on that Jeff was actually in the business. Jeff’s five year education…hours upon hours studying for the CPA exam and in that very moment I reduced his career to a pest control person in an effort to save me time.

Did it work?

No.

Mr. Salesman started to ask more questions.
Which company does he work for?
Which products do we use?

All in all, it was a big mistake. As Mr. Salesman walked away I knew he knew I was lying. I was ashamed.

Which is why until Davis came around, that was probably the last *big* lie I have told. But now, now lying is just easier.

Exhibit A:
Davis likes to get in the car by himself…as do all three years olds, I hear. But of course it is not that simple. Davis has to open the door by himself. And just when he about mastered that, there was a new development in the car loading process…Davis decided he liked to enter the car on Hayden’s side and Hayden decided he liked to enter the car on Davis’ side. As you can imagine, this adds 20 minutes to the whole process. So on the days where I have a meeting or actually need to get some where in a decent amount of time, Jeff or I simply say…

DAVIS. HURRY UP…GET IN THE CAR. ..There are LIZARDS UNDER THE CAR.
hurry! Hurry!! HURRY!!!

The more emphatic we are, the faster he goes, begging that he wants (NEEDS!) our help. It works like a charm every time. So sue us.

Exhibit B:
For the last few nights we have been playing our Wii…specifically the Super Mario Kart game that Mica gave the boys for their birthday. Hayden is actually getting pretty good at it, but Davis, on the other hand….well lets just say I wouldn’t necessarily want to ride with him in a car just yet…probably not even in a bumper car.

An average round lasts about 3 minutes. However it usually takes Davis about 30 minutes to finish his three laps when it is his turn. Since bed time is a constraint, we managed a way to make him think he is racing the car, as Jeff sits behind him and inconspicuously plays without him knowing.

Here is the problem. Jeff has not yet mastered the whole play like a three-year-old-thing. So he takes over the controller and wins first place every time. Which leads to an overly impressed Hayden. He became amazed (obsessed even) with how well “Davis” was doing.

You’re Awesome Davis!

You’re doing amazing!

You are SOOO GOOD at this game.

You’re better than me!

You’re soooo much cooler than me!

You are the BEST at this Game!

You ROCK!

Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.

(I kid you not. I am not making any of this up.)

At first I thought it was hilarious to watch Hayden in such shock. Cute even. It was such a sweet balance of pride and envy he exhibited for his brother. I let the little white lie go on for a couple of days, but after about the 70th time of Hayden unrelentlessly yelling “YOU’RE
SOOOO MUCH COOLER THAN ME DAVIS!” I started feeling guilty and actually worrying about his long-term self esteem.

So I fessed up….to Hayden anyway.

Now we just “act” like Davis is a rock star. And Davis still thinks he is the all-time Mario Kart Champion.