The Dad Survey!

The teachers in Hayden’s room did it again….the priceless survey of a 4 year old. I loved this one even more. I was giddy upon arriving to his classroom and noticing the laminated blue card hanging on his clip. I knew inside held a slew of kids say the darndest things. And it was no disappointment.

Sidenote #1: Has anyone else taken notice to the overuse of the lamination machine in preschools? Sometimes as I walk to my car, children in tow, holding a painted paper plate that has been laminated, I am convinced that the fumes from the lamination machine must give some sort of buzz. Or maybe it’s just a way to get a few relaxing minutes away from the kids. There has to be some valid reason that I have 3 laminated coffee filters with stickers on them. I’m just sayin’…it seems a little overboard at times, seeing as the employees at the billion dollar company in the same building aren’t even allowed to make color copies.

1) How old is your Daddy?
Answer: 29 years old.

Sidenote #2: Remember how in the last survey Hayden thought I was 37. Isn’t it funny how he thought I was 37 and Dad was 29? Ha! Ha! Can you hear me laughing? Honestly, I really took very little offense to the survey when I first read it.

But then, later that weekend, we were out shopping for cars (don’t ask!) and I was talking with a salesman when Jeff walked up.

The salesman looked at Jeff and asked if the car would be for him. Jeff nodded. Then the salesman told Jeff that he better be going to college. Jeff chuckled an awkward confused chuckle.

Then the salesman looked back at me and asked…get this…IF HE WAS MY SON??? I wish I could say that at that point he laughed hysterically and shouted "JUST KIDDING!" But no. No, that’s not what he did. When Jeff said, “no, she’s my wife”, he just started stuttering around…clearly embarrassed…mumbling “well that’s a compliment” under his breath.

UH, YEA…TO ONE OF US!

Then he goes on to tell us how he made the opposite mistake last week. Called a woman’s son her husband.

Here’s a tip Mr. Car Salesman…QUIT GUESSING! Your’re not very good at it. Do I have to mention that we didn’t buy the car from there?

Okay. Back to the survey. I am over it now.

2) How much does your dad weigh? How tall is he?
Answer: 9 lbs., 20 feet tall.
Can I just say THANK YOU Jesus this question wasn’t on the Mom survey!

3) What color is his hair? What color are his eyes?
Answer: Black, green.

4) What does he like to do to relax?
Answer: Making biscuits in the morning.

5) What does he like to wear?
Answer: Blue, red, and black things…and green too.

6) What does he like to cook?
Answer: Pizza

7) What is his favorite household chore?
Answer: I don’t think he has a chore.
Love it! But in all fairness, he does have chores…he just doesn’t do them :)

8) What is his favorite TV show?
Answer: Cars (the commercial)
To Hayden, anything that isn’t a cartoon, is by definition a commercial. This is referring to the Muscle Car and Trucks TV shows he watches.

9) Daddy always tells me…
Answer: Stay back on the baseball field.

10) It makes him happy when…
Answer: He smiles at me.

11) When my dad shops, he loves to buy…
Answer: Some of the toys.

12) If he could go on a trip, he would go to…and he would take…
Answer: The beach and take a swimming bag.

13) I really love it when my Daddy…
Answer: Goes to the store, goes to the toy aisle and looks at the toys.

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So now it’s my turn to pass on the joy of surveying. Here’s to you Dad! I love you!

1) How old is your Daddy?
Answer: I’ll do it like he does…2008 minus 1953…I guess that makes him 55 years young.

2) How much does your dad weigh? How tall is he?
Answer: I know he weighs 10 lbs less than he did last week (good job Dad!). Let’s see…if Matt’s 5’8”…Dad must be 5’10”, right? …with heels on.

3) What color is his hair? What color are his eyes?
Answer: Blonde, thin and fine blonde hair. And he passed on the thin and fine part to me. He also has bright blue eyes, which fortunately is a very dominant gene that he was kind enough to pass along to all of his grandchildren.

4) What does he like to do to relax?
Answer: Bee keeping. Although, to be honest, it doesn’t sound that relaxing to me.

5) What does he like to wear?
Answer: Why, his dressy sweats, of course.

6) What does he like to cook?
Answer: Fajitas and sushi. Both perfection!

7) What is his favorite household chore?
Answer: Dad has it pretty good on the chore front, but I know he doesn’t play around when he is mopping. He is also the best handyman I have even known. I make poor Jeff consult my dad before he changes the light bulbs to get his opinion. It’s out of true respect. I know he could build a whole house from the ground up. Sure, it would cost $1.3Million dollars, but it would have phone jacks on every last wall and last 17 generations.

8) What is his favorite TV show?
Answer: Hmmm….this is a tough one. I am going to guess 24? Or the nightly news with Tom Brokaw?

9) Daddy always tells me…
Answer: I can’t think of one thing he always tells me, but he hasn’t stopped asking if he can get the boys bee suits. For the record, the answer is still no.

10) It makes him happy when…
Answer: When he’s at a large family gathering. He is, without a doubt, always the life of the party.

The song…ROLLIN’…ROLLLIN’…ROLLIN’ ON A RIVER comes to mind. Also, that time when we were all playing a game of Cranium and we thought he was having a seizure. It turned out that he was in fact just “acting out” the word “water bed.”

11) When my dad shops, he loves to buy…
Answer: The most expensive things. Two or three of them. I guess he’s what you would call a gadget-guy. He has the latest Blackberry. He has the second to latest Garmin navigation system. I only know that because he is trying to convince my mom that he NEEDS the newest version. In fact, right this moment, he is probably riding his segway through the streets of Phoenix, AZ
where he’s working. If you ask him, he’s “saving” gas money. I’ve got to admit, I am completely jealous of the segway thing.

12) If he could go on a trip, he would go to…and he would take…
Answer: To Alaska…and take my mom. Fortunately for him, he is getting to go in just over a month!

13) I really love it when my Daddy…
Answer: Teaches my boys new things…like how to hook a worm…or how to ride a bike…or how to lick an ice cream cone. Dad, you really do inspire me to be a better parent. I try to make everything memorable for my kids, just like you did. Whether it’s how to get honey out of a honeysuckle, or how to be a kind, compassionate person always willing to lend a hand…you have taught me so much and I love you for that! Plus, who else has a Dad that takes them shopping the day after Thanksgiving and drops them off right at the front door. You’re perfect!