Wednesday, April 2, 2008

For the Love of Kidd Kraddick…


Once upon a time, my morning commute included a wonderful, blissful ten minute period of listeneng to my favorite morning radio show... Kidd Kraddick in the Morning… Monday through Friday…from approximately 7:40 a.m. to 7:50 a.m.

That all changed when Davis started talking. Scratch that. When Davis started arguing.

Now, the radio show is more like white noise in the background and the sound waves are filled with this:

Davis: Look Mommy, a bulldozer (as he points out the window at a tractor)
Hayden. NO DAVIS. That is NOT A BULLDOZER! THAT is a TRACTOR! (clearly bothered that his little brother doesn’t know the difference between a bulldozer and a tractor. But I mean really, can you blame him?)
Davis: Yes IT is Heide (Davis’ affectionate nickname for Hayden).
Davis: That NOT tractor! That bulldozer. (smirking, because he knows he has successfully lured Hayden into an argument)
Hayden: No DAVIS. It is not a bulldozer. It IS A tractor. Mom, tell Davis THAT IS A TRACTOR. Not a bulldozer. Right Mom? Right? Tell him. Mom, tell him that is a tractor.
Me: Davis, that is actually a tractor….but Hayden, just ignore him. He is two. It doesn’t matter what he thinks it is as long as you know what it is. Quit arguing with him! That is what he wants.

~~~Insert 10 seconds of silence here~~~

Hayden: No it’s NOT DAVIS*! It’s a tractor! Mom, TELL him!
Davis: NO. That bulldozer!

*Note: You’ll notice that random words are capitalized here intentionally. Random words are emphasized when you are under the age of 5. I don’t know. I guess you learn that in second grade or something.

~~~Insert 30 seconds of silence here~~~

Hayden: Look mom (pointing at the mall, off in the distance)…it’s the mall.
Davis: No HEIDE. IT not the MALL!
Hayden: YES IT IS DAVIS!!! That is the mall. Mom Tell him that is the mall. Tell him!

That is about the time when both the radio and the arguing turn into white noise and I begin to wonder HOW on earth two people can argue – almost to the point of tears - over something as IRRELEVANT as a bulldozer.
It would be one thing if the arguments changed on a daily basis, because in a sort of demented way, it would be half way entertaining. Or at least help me gain a little perspective about how very few arguments – from the time you are 2 to the time you are 92 - have relevance to the big picture.

But unfortunately the bulldozer argument and mall argument have been the same for at least one full week. Every day. Almost word for word. I could have listed the cross streets next to the paragraphs above, but I refrained. It obvious that's Davis is just arguing for the sake of arguing. I don’t know if he just likes to be heard….or if he is just glad to finally be understood, but the smile on his face as he yells “THAT BULLDOZER HEIDE” shows he loves to push Hayden’s buttons and already knows exactly how to do it. If you are thinking that he got that trait from me, you are wrong.
He didn’t!

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