Getting Crafty

This past week we've spent a lot of time indoors since it's been chilly outside and we have been passing around a cold.

Anyway, it has given me a lot of time to do some crafting (this heart pillow may have to stay out past Valentines!), but more than that - it's given me time to organize my blog and update the tabs on the top.

I wanted to share the fun projects with people who are interested - but without bombarding those non-crafty people who would rather just come here and read about my crazy grocery store adventures  and four boys that are sometimes sweet and sometimes silly.

Anyway, I've created pages for each category (home decor / parties/ etc.) These won't show up on your blogroll or RSS feed, so you will have to click on the category above.  I'll continue to update these pages as I finish a new projects - which is when  inspiration and nap times line up and no other chores or PTA projects get in the way. :)

Most the projects I do are pretty self- explanatory from the pictures, but shoot me a note if you have a question.

(The newest projects will always be at the top).

{The Blogs I Never Posted} The Angler Fish

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The Angler Fish

When Hayden was in 1st ... 2nd ... Some Previous Grade, they did a science unit on oceanography. 

They had to pick an ocean animal of their choosing, study it, 

and for Bonus Points! they could create a 3D version of it. 

Hayden chose the angler fish because I think he liked the teeth and the lightbulb. 

(Clearly this is an old draft - created when the Lyle Family still cared about Bonus Points!)

So one weekend Jeff and Hayden tackled the project 

of creating a paper mache angler fish.

(I have no idea how Jeff drew the short straw.) 

(But in my defense, he is the one that took Art in high school).

 I also have no idea where Hayden went during the process but 

every picture I have was of Matt and Jeff with messy hands covering this balloon.

Kind of like the pottery scene from Ghost, but different.

Anyway, I think we can all agree that Matt and Jeff did a fine job and could ACE elementary school!

 

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Bonus Points! for anyone who can guess what animal Davis will pick when he studies the ocean unit?

And Blake. 

And Nathan. 

The Thursday Folder

I often go through Hayden's Thursday folder and chuckle at some of the stuff I see. 

And I'm not talking about the New Way of Doing Math. I'll save that for another post when you are ready to spend the afternoon hearing me vent. 

MATH HASN'T CHANGED. THERE IS NO NEED TO REINVENT THE WHEEL. 

Anyway, here are a few of the things I found: 

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I noticed he was learning about Helen Keller – which I remember learning about in elementary school and thinking it was heart wrenching.

Me: Oh, your learning about Helen Keller? That’s so sad isn’t it.

Hayden: Yea! She was Bad! She was full of drama!

***

On Hayden’s spelling quiz, he had made 100 but his teacher had made a note out to the side about improving his handwriting. When I saw this, I used it as an opportunity to reiterate what his teacher was saying.

Me: You really need to slow down when you are writing. Your teacher made a note that you need to work on improving your handwriting. Just slow down and focus.

Hayden: Okay, I will try to go about 9% slower.

Somewhat related: The other day, in casual conversation Hayden mentioned that he thought Jeff was DEFINITELY smarter than me. "About 40% smarter, " he said with confidence. I will definitely acknowledge that Jeff is smarter than me. He scored about 30 points higher than me on the SAT so that fact was established long ago....but 40% is a STRETCH. 

I'll give you 5% smarter.  

MAX!!!

***

I also reviewed one of his science worksheets and had to laugh when I looked over the problem, hypothesis, and conclusion.

Problem:

What will happen when you put two magnets together?

Hypothesis:

They will either attract or repel?

Conclusion – was your hypothesis right? Why or Why not?

Yes, because I learned this last year.

 * I would attach a picture but based on the handwriting issues above you would have to know what you are looking at.

{The Blogs I Never Posted} Dog Food

So, there's something that's been bothering me for a while now. 

It's my "Draft" Section on my blog. 

Somehow I have 60 "draft" blogs that I started at some point in the last 8 years - but I guess got sidetracked in the middle of- how does that happen?- and never hit post. 

(Holy Moly! I've been blogging for 8 years!)

Most of them are just titles, although some of them have been started - and some even have a picture included. As I scan through the titles on these drafts, some of them very well could be Blogging Gold - if I could only remember the story behind them. 

Anyway, I figure I have two options to solve this problem: 

I could go through and delete all of them; 

 or I could go through and attempt to finish and post them. 

There must be a good story behind each of these titles if I took the time to type it out "so I wouldn't forget" and so, to just delete these memories feels so wrong... since they clearly no longer reside in my head. 

So, every Friday, I am going to attempt to finish one of my drafts. 

Hopefully, I will remember some of the stories - or at the very least, maybe it will prompt me to tell a new, more recent story....so without further adieu: 

***

Dog Food

This is Blake eating dog food. 

Or maybe it's Nathan. 

I'm not 100% sure. 

I am pretty sure it is Blake, but it's hard to say 

because the dog food eating phase was relatively short for Blake. 

Nathan, on the other hand, PREFERS dog food.

LOVES it! 

He often feeds Angel his pancakes and eggs in the morning 

and then heads to the bathroom to grab a handful of Pedigree (small breed) Dog Food. 

He's a smart boy though.

He knows eating dog food is frowned upon, 

(warranting a spanking even)

so when he gets caught in the act, he pretends like he was just giving a handful to Angel. 

And of course, Angel goes along with this charade to stay in his good graces. 

B-Lockey

This language in this video is wildly inappropriate - so I apologize in advance.

But it is still worth watching, so that you know why we now refer to Blake as "B-Lockey".

Hi-LARIOUS!

*Thanks Matt, for sharing this video! 

Dinner Club

I ran across this picture the other day and it made me laugh because I can totally relate. 

(And by "ran across" it, I mean that a friend of a friend of a friend 'liked' it on Facebook)

(Has anyone noticed that the Facebook status feed is really weird now?) 

Anyway, it made me super thankful for my dinner club that I was invited to join at the end of last year. 

I LOVE it! 

Here's how it works: I make dinner on Wednesdays for our family and two other families, and then on Mondays and Tuesdays dinner is delivered to my doorstep by 5:00pm - so that we can scarf it down before DI and other activities. 

Jeff was a little resistant at first, but I think he's onboard now. It's a Brilliant Idea and I'm thankful Lauren and Ashli invited me into their 'club'. 

***

Somewhat related: The other day Blake was whining about how much milk I had given him in his cup. I had only filled it up 3/4 full to lessen the chances of spilling (wishful thinking!).  

I did my best to ignore him - but finally I'd had enough and snapped, "Do you want to DRINK your milk, or do you want to sit here and WHINE about it? 

He didn't even pause to consider the options before he responded.

"I just want to sit here and whine about it." 

Adventures in Grocery Shopping

If you are looking for a blog full of how to's and wonderful recipes, this is probably not the one for you....but if you are looking for a blog that makes you feel better about yourself for doing routine tasks that should be easy -  you're in the right spot.

Last weekend was an extended one because the kids were out of school for Martin Luther King Day.

Side note - apparently the kids these days refer to it as MILK weekend. (I'm proud to say that it only took me thirty seconds to figure out what that meant). 

Anyway, the long weekend without any real plans was topped off by the fact that Jeff has officially entered his "busy time schedule" for the new deal he is working on.

Which meant he worked all weekend long.

On weekends and holidays, my kids tend to be homebodies - moaning and groaning about doing much of anything including fun stuff like going to the park or on a bike ride.

So, I did what any adventurous mom would do.

I loaded them all up and headed to the grocery store. And in a bold attempt at bribery, I promised the kids that they could each buy a new toy.

(With their own money).

We needed only the basics to survive the weekend so we could make a proper sandwich out of something other than carb-balance tortillas and cream cheese.

Three Hundred and Thirty Six Dollars later, I think I think it's safe to say that I am officially the world's worst grocery shopper.

Especially when I am hungry and trying to keep four kids happy.

After I meandered the grocery aisles letting the kids talk me into tons of stuff we didn't need, I found myself standing in the toy aisle examining every. last. Lego. box. that Walmart had in inventory.

The boys were deciding which ones they could afford - and also had the time to tackle over the weekend.

Hayden decided on one that was above a $9.99 sign, but since was an entire Lego city - and had over 40,000 pieces we both knew it was just in the wrong spot. Since Walmart has removed all of those price checker thingies (I know because we walked the entire store looking for one) we just decided to wing it.

That bad decision is how Hayden ended up with his first $70 Lego set and an outstanding $5 loan from Davis.

Finally - FINALLY - we were finished grocery shopping and toy shopping and made our way to the check out line.

And that's when for some reason....A REASON TOTALLY UNEXPLAINABLE....I decided to go through the self-checkout line.

With THREE HUNDRED AND THIRTY SIX DOLLARS worth of groceries and four kids and NO ROOM to put any of the bagged groceries.

Let's just say that the poor soul that has the brutal task of managing the 4 "self-checkout" lanes had to come over to my area no less than 17 times to clear an error. 

About 1/3 of the way through ringing out my own groceries...I think it was one of the times I was waiting for the cashier to come over and examine the "unknown item in the bagging area", I realized what a HUGE mistake the self-checkout line was.

I stopped. I took a deep breath. And I seriously considered voiding my transaction and starting over in a line with a cashier. At that point, it didn't even matter if the cashier took out his teeth. But then I thought better of it and kept on plugging away in an effort to accelerate The Self Check-out Fiasco.

Meanwhile, Davis was trying to help me by scanning items as well....and then putting them back in the basket. Not in a bag. (That probably accounts for thirty dollars or so of my over budget).

Behind me, Hayden was tending to Blake and Nathan.

The once-empty self check-out line quickly began to fill up with customers. Customers who were all looking at Me and My Hoodlums. I felt eyes peering at me from every direction.

At one point, Blake started to squeal and I turned around to see Hayden holding Blake's arms down.

So I stopped scanning (don't worry - Davis  scanned a few more items) and reprimanded Hayden for restraining Blake and making him squeal.

Then I got back to scanning.

That's when I heard "excuse me ma'am....excuse me ma'am....excuse me ma'am" from behind me.

I turned around right in time to see someone we'll call Mr. Mediator Man (another Walmart guest) raising his eyebrows and pointing squarely at Blake, who was whacking Nathan with a loaf of bread that very instant.

The man didn't say anything else. But his raised eyebrows said it all.

He expected me to apologize to Hayden and reprimand Blake before I rang out one more item.

So I stopped scanning again (don't worry - Davis scanned a few more items). I apologized to Hayden and said something in a very stern voice to Blake...if only to appease the long line of self-checkout customers that had suddenly turned into baby-sitters.

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The moral of the story:
Don't self checkout with more than 3 items.
Don't bribe your kids with toys.
Don't buy something if you don't know the price of it.
Don't go to the grocery store hungry.
Don't go to the grocery store with four kids.
Just don't go to the grocery store.

***Just so no one feels sorry for my boys, 

we also went to the park, went to a play area, 

had three play dates and a sleep-over. 

The Littlest Boy and The Biggest Spoon

You know who gets his first bowl of cereal with 

EXTRA milk 

and a ginormous serving spoon?

The littlest boy.

The one with three older brothers at his beck and call. 

{There's no wrong way to eat a bowl of cereal!}

An Attempt at a Metaphor

Davis: Wow Nathan! You walked like TEN MILES for an ANT. 

Hayden: Davis, that makes no sense at all. 

Davis: Yes it does. If Nathan were an ant, he would have walked what felt like ten miles

Hayden: But he's NOT an ant Davis! He's a BOY! 

The Day Hayden Found Out About the People of Walmart

One evening last month I was coaching Davis' DI team in the dining room. It is a team of seven kids and the meetings include a lot of interaction and brainstorming to solve a challenge.

Because Blake and Nathan's voice can be heard round the world, Jeff often uses this time to get the other kids out of the house so that the team can focus without the sounds of complete mayhem filling up the room.

This particular night he took them to the grocery store to pick up a few things and invited Hayden along to help him.

Jeff managed his way through the aisles of the store and picked up our organic fruits, vegetables, and milk.

(And mac and cheese and pop tarts).

You know, the basics.

I'm sure it was quite a scene - as it always is when you have a man overseeing three kids and two baskets (one for the kids and one for the food).

Anyway, Jeff and the kids made their way to the checkout line and an elderly cashier began ringing up their groceries.

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

When the man went to scan the milk he accidentally dropped it and it began to leak. He held it up to show Jeff.

Jeff acknowledged that it was in fact leaking and then kind of paused - hoping that the cashier would call over a manager? another cashier? a runner? to go to the back of the store and grab another gallon of milk, given the Retail Industry is all about the customer.

But instead the man just sat there continuing to hold up the jug of milk and asked "Do you still want it?"

"Uhm. No. I guess I will just go grab another one." Jeff said, a bit shocked by the whole exchange and knowing he couldn't show back up to the house without milk since we seem to go through about 33 gallons a week.

Jeff thought for a minute and decided that it was too much trouble to drag the kids and the carts all the way to the back of the store with him - so he asked Hayden to go.

Hayden quickly declined.

(Hayden is the type of kid that could get lost in his own bedroom - and he knows this about himself.)

So Jeff decided to do it alone. But before he left, he instructed Hayden to STAY NEXT TO THE BABIES - AND DON'T LET THEM JUMP OUT OF THE CART!

Hayden nodded like a deer in the headlights and Jeff started trekking through the store- around the $5 movie bin, through the women's workout clothes - past the wine and to his destination - the Great Value Milk.

While Jeff was on his way, the elderly cashier stopped ringing groceries behind the counter and made his way over to stand next to Hayden and the grocery carts.

Maybe he overheard the stern warnings from Jeff to NOT LET THE BABIES JUMP OUT OF THE CART or maybe the man just wanted to use the extra time to get to know Hayden - but whatever the case he was now positioned in the checkout line with Hayden, Blake and Nathan.

And that's when he began his ice breaker questions.

Elderly Cashier Man: Hi!

Blake: Hi!

Hayden: silently thinking:  whenisdadcomingback? whenisdadcomingback? whenisdadcomingback?

Elderly Cashier Man: How old are you?!

Blake: Free! (Three)

Elderly Cashier Man: Can you take your teeth out?

Hayden: silently thinking:  whenisdadcomingback? whenisdadcomingback? whenisdadcomingback?

Blake: No! (confused, intrigued - I have no idea what Blake is thinking at this point)

Elderly Cashier Man: Do you want to see me take my teeth out?

Hayden: silently thinking:  whenisdadcomingback? whenisdadcomingback? whenisdadcomingback?

Blake: YES! 

***

And so that's the story of how Hayden found himself in the Walmart check out line at age 10, making sure that two small children DID NOT JUMP OUT OF THE CART while the cashier pulled out his fake teeth and held them up for all to get a closer look.

I can only imagine Hayden's face.  

When he got home that night and retold the story, he took a long sigh and asked - Why are people in Walmart SO WEIRD?!?

And while I couldn't answer that question, I let him know that there is an entire website dedicated to that very topic (http://www.peopleofwalmart.com), but told him that we have to continue shopping there because they really do offer a Great Value. 

Then I rubbed his head and told him that one day - when he gets to be a grown up he can start shopping at Market Street and Central Market and all those other fancy-shmancy grocery stores that probably hire cashiers that won't take out their teeth in an effort to make conversation.